[mature] She didn't know who she was texting.
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Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds her...
"Thank you for coming to my meeting," I say to the three people sitting with me at the table.
I'm pushing the nervousness away for the time being, aware that time—and patience— is limited as we sit here together. I sit forward and lean my elbows against the table, various papers stacked within my grasp. I have spent the last four days finally piecing together the life that I want for myself.
It hasn't been easy— the nights have been long and the emotions have been high. The first day was the worst day; after leaving the wedding, I cried without halt for almost three hours. I did this in the solidarity of my room at the hanok, but David was overly nosey, wanting to know everything about everything. He has been a rock in getting me to somewhat move forward. It's almost impossible.
I sent an email to them, andtold them I won't be renewing our contract. It was just like that. One click on a computer and it was terminated. According to what I signed back in May, I can't talk about my relationship with him in public, I can't delete any of our posts together— I basically cannot cause any harm to their reputation. For all I know the company won't confirm our break up for weeks, months, or years.
Jungkook has left me voicemail after voicemail, accumulating to over at least ten as each day goes by. I forced myself not to listen. I only received two texts from him otherwise:
J [7:04PM]: 제발요... (please...)
J [4:03AM]: 너에게말하고싶어. (I want to talk you.)
I read them with blurry eyes, and continue to stare at them with heavy emotions every morning. I know that if I answer, I will be giving in to everything that I told myself I wouldn't put up with anymore. There needs to be a change, and without one I can't do this to us anymore— I can't do this to me.
The pain never goes away. The entirety of this month has been so painful that I can't feel the pain anymore. The only way for me to work through this is to not give in. I need to work on myself. It's the only way I get through each day.
In order to do so, the second day was an analysis day for me. I decided to finally check my email and social medias— with the help of David— in order to start mapping out some sort of game plan. My game is much too complicated to spend just a day on, so it followed into the next day. Yesterday.
Yesterday was quite the eventful day. I organized my email and coordinated negotiations for work opportunities. I also found out that my Twitter mentions are at an all time high. My follower count on all my medias are soaring through records— 15 million subscribers are now on my YouTube. Checking my account revenue statement almost gave me a heart attack by how high it was.
My comeback Instagram post, showing my support for David through the turmoil, is my most liked post ever:
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