SNS || jeon jungkook ✓

53. power

been a lil stressed tbh. please show some love! ily guys. thank you for all your support. 💗

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53.

"I-I got you a vase."

My voice seems like a distant noise from a parallel universe. I don't recognize it in this silence. I am biting my lip to stop myself from saying anything else to my Auntie. I'm watching her carefully; she is pale, and looks as if she will pass out at any moment.

For some reason I find myself with my hands clasped at my waist, and my head bowed at her to dodge her eyes. It hurts to look at her— it only reminds me that I'm failing to get her the help she needs.

I can hear the bubble wrap moving in her grasp. She sighs heavily, and when I glance up at her, I can sense that she has been deep in thought for some time before I arrived.

"Aunt—"

"I'm sorry for the things I've said," she interrupts me.

I catch my breath and try not to make it audible. What do I say?

Her words are so unexpected that I feel almost guilty that she is apologizing to me. If anything, shouldn't I be? I went through her things, talked about her late husband and accused her of living her life like this because she was without him.

I can't make up my mind about the words I should reply with. I'm scared to talk. I'm scared of what she will say back.

"Jae," she quips, but softly.

Her tone makes my head jerk up as if she can see me. We are both staring at the garden. The lonely light bulb shining down on the flowers creates beautiful shadows within the scenery. The mist from the air is visible in the light rays.

"Auntie—"

I stop myself this time. Why do I feel like this? My chest raises to speak again but I still don't know what to say.

The silence is overcome by the sound of the bubble wrap being torn. The vase is in her hand, and just I expected, she is using her fingers to feel for the pattern.

The corners of her lips perk upward through her sickly complexion.

"I know we didn't get along the first two months," my voice is wavering. My eyes are watching her fingers as they dance on the painted structure, "but, everything you've said to me. Everything you encouraged me to do... it is the reason I'm trying to be something."

I stop my small speech to wait for her reaction. Predictably she doesn't say anything. It's as if she's waiting for me to continue.

"I-I'm sorry for accusing you of giving up. It j-just... it just... it seems that way to me. It hurts me to think about... because I care. I care about what happens to you. I don't want you to give up because you think no one will care. I care."

Fuck. My emotions are catching up to me now. I'm standing here talking to my weak Auntie confessing how much I care about her, and moisture is accumulating in my eyes. I need to stop overthinking it. She's my family. She will understand.

I release a deep breath. "You were right. I don't know what you've gone through. I'm ignorant, lazy, and... some big shot is making me my money."

I am swallowing the rolling tears down my cheeks. My body aches from saying that aloud, but it's not as though it's not true. It doesn't matter how happy I can be with my business opportunities, because at the end of the day it will always be contributed from someone else's hand and not my own hard work.