SNS || jeon jungkook ✓

38. life

38.

I cried on my way to the Internet Cafe.

Yes, I actually was crying. I don't know if it's because I'm hormonal and my period is coming or what, but all my emotions of just being done with the situation I'm in was really getting to me.

What I said to Auntie Miyoung isn't who I am at all. I don't know how to explain myself, or even start an apology to her. From the looks of her reaction, she didn't seem fazed by anything I said. I'm also too scared to talk about it, so I will most likely ignore that it happened.

Because I'm a prissy princess.

I also had no choice but to trust her when she gave me directions to the cafe. Without having my phone, I felt absolutely useless and lost. I felt like I was walking with no direction for the entirety of the journey into town— which, was not a few minutes. It took me twenty minutes to get to the nearest shop. It was in the opposite direction of the food markets I went to yesterday.

I don't know how many times I can mention my sweat until the picture becomes clear. It's just everywhere. I was never one to sweat so much, but maybe it's because my body knows I will not have a release from the hot whether, so it just keeps sweating.

I ended up buying a few water bottles and fruits from a nearby convenience store on my way back from the Internet Cafe. Luckily for me, I could translate what was on the browsers and sit in the AC while I charged my phone.

It's late afternoon when I arrive back to the house. Auntie Miyoung is still sitting outside on her fold out, her eyes closed and head leaning back as if she's tanning.

I grumble to myself, making myself known by the ruffling of the plastic bags in my hand. She releases a deep breath but doesn't do anything else.

"Here," I say. I'm holding out a bottle of water for her.

"What is it?"

"Water."

She merely opens her palm and I purse my lips. I sigh at her and place the water bottle into her hand. Her fingers close around it and she remains quiet.

"I paid it," I say. I'm referring to the electric bill, "They're sending a technician here within the next two days."

"Clean my house," she replies.

Breathe.

My shoulders slouch and suddenly the bags in my hands feel a thousand pounds. I close my eyes to stabilize my breathing, and release a deep breath to find some calmness.

I refuse to act irrationally again at her. If I don't clean, who will? I've already concluded that I'm staying here— so, that is the price. Cleaning. Right? Maybe I should start thinking positively about all of this. She's sickly and I'm just ungrateful.

"Yes," I say under a breath.

I return back into the house and immediately start peeling off my clothing. Forty minutes of walking in that heat was brutal and I will probably lose a lot of weight if I keep this up. I ate two bowls of ramen in town before I came back and bought her one. I suppose I will keep it until she announces she's hungry.

I check my phone for a text from Jungkook, but there isn't one.

I frown and stare at my screen in absentmindedness. It's been three days, yet I am so dependent on him— even if it's just a text.