So do you guys remember my chapter "hng"?
*chortle* that was a weird name lol
Anyway I said I had a kind of attack because of too many noises
I think this is what happened:
-I have been in abusive homes (A lot of men are horrible, not all of them. Also some women)
-In those homes, a lot of shouting happened. In some of them, the guy played music too loudly. Or whatever.
-I have always had a distaste for overly loud noises in general
-Because of the experiences, I get really anxious or scared or something if loud noises are heard
-The large amount of inputs (TV, music, loud singing) made it so there was "no room" in my mind for thinking
--I think to avoid stuff or to deal with stuff, if I can't think I panic a bit because I need to know that my brain works... I dunno
-I went into a defensive position because I was genuinely scared because of my experiences, and my inability to think easily because of the sound
--This position was a fetal position because that's a thing I do...
-I have had a panic attack in the past, and I couldn't breathe, and this is what it felt like as well so yeah
I can't really put things in order sometimes, this is the way I take notes and whatnot ig.
Oh yeah also
-I usually get a bit shaky and/or nervous when loud music is played. That mixed with the other stuff and hhhhhhnnnnnnnhhhhgggggg...
Okay bye I just wanted to share this with you
