Master [s.m]

56.

•shawn•

I put the phone to my ear, my heart beating fast at the thought of what is going to happen tonight.

"Hello, Sir." Sam answers the phone. He sounds alert and quite depressed.

I begin to slowly walk up the stairs, holding the phone up to my ear. "I just- I have to make sure you understand."

A quiet sigh from him is what I get in return of the one hundred times I tell him what is to be done.

I trust him the most with this, because he's the most caring. I know that he would do this with compassion instead of obligation, and would certainly care to do this.

Stopping in my tracks, I listen to him go over what he has to do in the worst case scenario. Reaching in my shirt pocket, I dig for a cigarette and angrily sigh when I don't find one.

When I see Rebecca standing in front of the large window in the hallway, I discover that my previous strong need of nicotine disappears.

She stands there, completely clueless of what might happen, looking at the dark sky through the frosted window.

A blanket is wrapped around her small frame, she is wearing a thick pair of socks, her hair is all tossed up into a messy bun and she's wearing one of my shirts.

This sight of her completely calms me in a matter of seconds.

"If anything happens to me, bring her back to her family." I tell him one more time, and close my eyes when I hear that he understands.

Rebecca turns around as soon as she acknowledges my presence, and I smile when I see that she has one of her masks she loves so much on her face.

"Who were you on the phone with?" She doubts, her eyebrows coming to a frown.

I put my phone back into my pocket and look away from her for a moment. "Nobody, just one of my men."

"About?" She falters, hugging her blanket tighter around her body.

"Just money stuff." I lie, standing next to her and looking out the window.

I can feel her eyes on me for a moment until she looks out the window as well, making me breathe out.

We walk to our bedroom and I take a seat on the bed, while she walks to the washroom and begins to play some music.

She leaves the door open and I place my elbows on my knees and watch her hum and lightly dance as she peels off her mask.

It kills me how completely clueless she is of what is happening, and I have no idea how to deal with the feelings I'm feeling. Guilt, anger, despair, regret, all in one. I've never felt so low in my life, and I want to turn to her to help me, but it'll only hurt her and me.

It's best she doesn't know for now. Not only because it will destroy her, but it'll destroy me as well.

So I just watch her.

I watch her spread night cream over her face, then put her coconut oil in her hair, then put it in a bun, and put on a silk cap.