Everyone faces the essence of first love; the love of childhood. The innocent age at which the meaning of love is unknown, the circumstances are unknown, you don't care of the future.....rather live in a fantasy. But nature has to give you lessons a...
My engagement.... I had imagined this day a million times before yet it was nothing as expected. From my chirping and excitement for being engaged....to the person i was about to be paired up to, it was all different and for some reasons....depressing.
Upon my insistance, it was simply a small get-together consisting of my and Adnan's close relatives because my suffocation was increasing by every passing second. However, Shifa Aunty wanted a massive gathering as Adnan was her only son and she wanted to celebrate his son's special day with full zeal and zest and to flaunt the choice of his son and show it to the world. Still she respected my opinion and obligued my request with pleasure.
I avoided every kind of discussion related to this topic at my house because i knew i would breakdown. Even if Inaya dozed me with positivity and hopes but still my inner self was screaming Daniyal's name thinking he might listen and come flying all the way for me.....for his Amal.
Moments after i came back from parlour, the door of my room got knocked and i saw baba peeking inside as if deciding whether to enter inside or not. I stood up at once giving a glance at the girl in the mirror dolled up in an all-golden shimmered gharara with red-net dopatta beautifully placed on her head. "Jee Baba. Please come in"
He entered with broken steps as if already saddened by the thought of handing over his daughter to someone for ever. He sat on one of the edges of my bed and patted beside for me to sit next to him. Instead i sat down in his feet placing my face on his knees and a tear rolled down my face which i successfully hid from him.
After a big moment, baba killed the silence, "This was all we could do for you until now beta. I hope i did justice with my duties and responsibilities. Forgive me for whenever you felt i was hurting you. But you KNOW i was always trying to protect my most percious thing in the world" I could only nod. And he continued, "Adnan seems a nice person. I can trust the upbringing of a women like Shifa but i still tried my best to do every possible inquiry. I hope he gives you the world. The rest is on Allah"
I sensed a tear dropped from his face. He was sounding like a helpless person who couldn't do anything to make her daughter stay with him forever. Because that was the custom of society as well as religion that no one could deny....
All of a sudden, a question arose in my mind that i couldn't help but ask, "Baba.....if you dont mind.....can i ask you something please?" He nodded with an emotionless face so i asked after a moment, "I know whats gone is gone....and that, its gone for good. But...what does Adnan has that Daniyal didn't?" There was a slighly long pause after which baba continued caressing his hands on my covered head and spoke, "Oh Amal. You were so young, fragile and innocent. You still are. And i believe that wasn't your age of judging anyone whether they're really right or wrong. You were in LOVE and love is blind.....and it was my duty to open your blindfolded eyes because the world is much more than you've seen. I hope you know what i mean" I nodded because there was nothing left to say. He continued, "Moreover, i did not hate Daniyal or compare him with Adnan. Sorry to say but....he's the one who never came forward. Maybe i would have thought about him if i had seen him doing effort for you my love"
Like they say 'on your face', each word of baba was giving a slap on my face. I was not in a position to defend him....not anymore. I stopped thinking about Daniyal because i did not want to make myself even more confused. I did not want to make further assumptions on where he was? And why wasn't he interacting anymore?
The door of my room got open giving a glimpse of mama's puppy face pretending to be jealous of the moment me and baba were having. "Okay so the father-daughter are having a moment totally forgetting that i even exist. FINE" The atmosphere of the room suddenly changed to the sound of chuckles and laughters.
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Adnan was here various times before but today....everything seemed different. I was always suffocated by his presense but this time it was unbearabe; his victorious smile, his proudy eyes, his never fading gaze....it was beyond irritation. He was dressed, no doubt, in an elegant manner wearing a brown waist coat with velvet red pocket square and a light-skin kurta underneath. Any girl could have fallen but not someone who had a disgusted pleasure of seeing him drunk and begging for a touch. That unpleasent memory always refused to leave my mind and i really was guilty sometimes.
"Honestly, he's not that bad. And look at his dressing sense. Sorry but i'm drooling at your fiance", Inaya almost whispered in my ear. I couldn't decide if she was serious or just trying to infuriate me even more. I eyed her angrily in a failing attempt to shut her up despite being a bride and the center of attention. "What? I didn't say anything wrong, miss bride-of-Adnan. Atleast have a glimpse of him. Trust me, he's craving for it" Despite that Daniyal-drama, Inaya was idiotically happy on the fact that it was her best friend's engagement today. My bad luck was that i couldn't shut her up because mama said brides don't talk. Weird. But still, the most happening part about my engagement day was Inaya's joyous mood and excitement. Moreover the happiness of my parents was beyond words and that was the only thing due to which i was optimistic and full of hope.
As soon as Adnan put the ring of his name on my fingers and labelled me as 'engaged', feeling the suffocation i went almost running to my room. All i wanted at the moment was to inform Daniyal. Yes. He was still in my mind because i couldn't digest that his eyes could lie to me.
3 days were passed and he did not tried to interact with me. The silence of the other side was killing me now. I unlocked my phone and typed aggressively. "Congratulations Daniyal Rehman!! 'Your Amal' is not your Amal anymore"
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and i did not care to wipe them away. The ring on my finger.....it was an indication that all was over. Everything was done. The songs of love were no longer heard. The eyes were no longer dreaming. The heart no longer desired love, what it needed now was companionship.....just a lifetime long togetherness.
After a little bit touch-ups when i was done with my crying drama, i decided to go back outside. Because i had no other choice left than to face my fears now.
As soon as i was about to leave my room, my phone surprisingly started ringing. I ran with a speed of light silently hoping it was Daniyal. I reached to my phone and i saw Bisma's name popping up to my surprise. I instantly answered it, "Bisma?"
And then, i got all my answers without even asking....and those answers were the undeniable truths that turned me numb and cold. I felt like all the world and whatever it contained disappeared.....and i was alone.
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Author's note: Sorryyyyyyyy for a little late update plus for a cliffhanger :p I guess it's the most curious cliffhanger so far. But i would really want to know your tukka's ??? :p
How was the chappie loves? Just a little more wait to know where's Daniyal.
P.S. This is the cutest update-reminder that i recieved these days:
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Thankyou for all the love. I know it's all just a mess that i'm writing but you still take out some time to give it a read and it literally makes my day when y'all give such a positive response and a loving feedback.
