28.Moonlight of a cold night

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Author's note:
HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL KIND READERS❤❤
I wont say sorry for delaying this update but i'll surely say THANKYOU for each of you who waited. The story isnt left much(spoiler alert huh?) So stay connected. Vote if you liked and comment what you liked. The next update will be soon IA🌸🌸Enjoy!!

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[DANIYAL]

A few days later:

Tossing and turning helplessly on bed was a normal thing for me today. She was going tomorrow, forever, from my life. It was impossible for me to even blink my eye then how could i sleep? How could the tides in my heart find peace? There was no way. My heart was constantly aching to see her and to talk to her but my self respect was throwing all those desires far away thinking about the night when she came back from Adnan's house at 3, crushing my love under her feet. That was the night i broke completely. That was the night my love defeated. That was the night i was no longer a warrior....I surrendered.

My attention steadily shifted to the warrior keychain that was already gripped in my fist. Keeping my gaze on the keychain, all i could think of was 'Why?'

Amal was never the kind of girl she had become. My Amal was a sweet mixture of everything nice but the Amal i could see now was a whole opposite; mysterious, selfish, self centered. So like Adnan himself. But the question remained, what made such a powerful impact on Amal? It seemed like the puzzle i was trying to solve still had a missing piece. But sadly, i no longer had the courage and the energy to search for the lost piece anymore.

Feeling suffocation in the environment, i got up from my bed at once and headed wherever my feet took me to. In a moment, i saw myself standing in front of her room, with my hand on the doorknob. I didnt know how and why i was here, only did i know that my peace was right there behind the door oblivious of my pain.

As soon as my hands opened the knob gathering the courage somehow, i thought i entered paradise containing only her.....and moonlight. The whole room was glowing with serenity of the sky's moon.....and my moon. It looks like the sky's moon was obediently bowing to my moon, giving away all its shine to her. The unrealisticity made me completely forget to move an inch until i realised i had been in the same position since ages.

It was indeed hard to look away from Amal, sleeping peacefully, with henna everywhere on her hands. My heart suddenly ached, seeing henna on her hands as it reminded me of the painful morning i was about to witness in a few hours.

It was her nikkah tomorrow.

I felt so helpless that my legs couldnt carry my wait anymore and i was on the floor in a second, beside her bed, right in front of her sleeping face. My peace laid right there so, despite the paij running through my viens, i couldnt stop my smile. That smile of satisfaction of being close to someone you have loved forever, nevertheless of what they did to you in return.

"Dont do this to me, Amal. Dont do this to us", i whispered, "Its too late for me to say this, isn't it?"
My eyes were wet by now when i took a deep breath and shook my head.

"Amal.....i have no one except you. You know that, right? I've always made you sure. I am confident about my love, then why aren't you?"

My eyes weren't able to find any other place except her face. Assuming the answers of my questions myself, i continued after a pause, "I have seen myself in these eyes of yours. And, i swear, i still do. Then why are you faking? Whom are you lying to? Yourself? Why Amal?"

"For how much time did i ask you, beg you speak up? But you didnt.......And that clearly means i lost. I hope you never get to feel this loss yourself because it hurts Amal. It hurts. The prove is right infront of you. You are here sleeping peacefully on your bed dreaming about your 'big day' and i am here, on the floor, lost, broken, crying. But still with you"

It hurt even more to feel that she was oblivious of how much hurt i was and what i was crying about at this hour. I wiped my face and made my decision for what was my next move, "But you now what? thats enough for now. Thats enough of Daniyal being close to Amal. When Amal didnt care about Daniyal's pain then why should Daniyal? I have loved and so did you. But the only difference is that you did not respect that. And your Daniyal kept this feeling close to his heart.

"I'm leaving. Forever. But right after seeing all my bridges burn in front of my eyes. Right after you kill all my hopes and accept Adnan as yours, denying your Daniyal, infront of the whole world. Stop me if you can. But one thing, if I'm not yours, I'm not everyone else's. You broke the promise, i won't. And only if-"

I was almost done with my unasked and useless blabbering when she moved a little. I hurridly  slid down to her bed enough for Amal to not see me, just in case. I didnt want to get noticed as the one caring too much and crying now.

After a few moments of sensing any furthur movements, i came to conclusion that she was only changing her side in sleep so i started sneaking out.

"DANIYAL", She woke up screaming my name which made me back off under her bed at once that lead something sharp pinch me, but i successfully controled my scream. I wondered why she took my name? Did she hear everything i was saying or is that she was seeing me in her dream? Oh would that i was that important. But anyways i was curious to know her next move.

In a moment, i saw her feet touching the floor being right in front of my face. My gaze followed her bare feet to the door of the room until i heard and saw the door open.

"Daniyal?", She was still on the door, probably finding me after a dream.
"A dream. Again", She sounded very low-spirited when she came back to her bed and laid down. I could hear little sobs but my ego was higher enough for me to back off. I didnt want to give her pain but she didnt leave me with any choice either.

Despite the constant sharp pinching on my arm and back, i waited alot for her to actually sleep before i sneak out. She was behaving so mysteriously during the night, sleeping peacefully then waking up with my name, finding me, crying. But she was still unwilling to speak anything to me in the daylight. She was undoubtfully crying for me but then why was she marrying Adnan? I was once again stuck in this mystery.

When i assumed her to be completely slept, i sneaked out of her bed holding what had been pinching me throughout. As i peaked a little, she really did sleep so i took a deep breath and in a curiousity of knowing what kept irritating me, i opened the torch of my cellphone. As soon as i put the light on it, the world around me frose. Those were medicines, that lead me to unadmittable reality but my mind was still unable to digest what was it and why was it here.

What i saw were pills, pills for those who are expecting a baby. But why were those hidden under her bed? Amal's bed? These questions led me nowhere but the truth. My gaze hurridly turned to her in shock, was she....? Why?

Tears took no time to escape my eyes. About an hour ago, i was declaring myself to be broken nut only now i knew what being broken actually felt like. All the signs were right infront of me and i was too dumb to understand. Now, i was destructively broken and ridiculously hurt. The mystery was solved. The missing piece of puzzle was found. And the peace was nowhere. The sleep was nowhere.

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Published on: 1-1-19  8:35AM

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