Sweet Little Thrills (boyxboy)

Chapter 1

 ----------Special thanks to xRachelTheWriterx for the cover!----------

 "I'm quitting life," I said. Derek nodded at me, not really listening as usual.

"I mean it. I refuse to continue on this ride of regret and economic failure. I want a refund." Derek sighed, looking up from his book at me. I grinned, happy to finally have his attention.

"Kai, you never paid for life in the first place. Don't you listen to his lord and highness Ed Sheeran? The worst things in life come free to us." I gasped, smacking him in the face before he could react.

"You bitch!" He cried out, and I smirked.

"I told you not to quote him. As men, we have to control our obsessions!" He glared, rubbing his cheek.

"Well, i'm a man. Not so sure about you." I resisted the urge to smack him again and leaned back, smiling.

"I don't care what you think, you under-stuffed teletubby. Vaginas are cool, I wish I had one. They're like aliens attached between legs." He wrinkled his nose.

"That's disgusting. How are you gay if you think vag is so great?" I gave him a stupid look.

"I think Koalas are cool and you don't see me sticking my dong in a Koala."

"Kai!" He face palmed. I laughed, shrugging.

"Well, it's true. I'm gayer than Leonardo Da Vinci and Adam Lambert combined."

"That's hot-wait, Da Vinci was gay?"

"For sure. Everyone knows that. "

"I didn't know that."

"That's because you're nobody." He scowled, shutting his book and standing up.

"Bitch. I'm leaving, i'll see you at school tomorrow." I waved, watching as he shut my bedroom door behind him. I sighed, letting the sleeping pills I took work their magic. I was pretty chilled out today, normally I was very hyper and much more crude. I grinned, planning to be extra obnoxious the next day.

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"Derek, good morrow old chap!" I grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. He rubbed his eyes, opening them to glare at me.

"It's too early to deal with you, Kai." He grumbled, rummaging through his locker.

"Nonsense. I brighten your mornings even when the sun is shining. I outshine the sun for you, Derek. Just for you. And you don't even appreciate me!" I yelled, smacking the back of his head.

"OW!" He yelped. "You asshole!" He exclaimed and I laughed, watching as he rubbed the back of his head and mumbled incoherently. 

"There there, Derek. I forgive you." He glared at me. 

"If I didn't love you, I would shove your head up a cow's ass." He said dryly, shutting his locker. I grinned, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and steering him down the hall with me. 

"Aw, Derry! I love you too. I love you so much, if I wasn't gay i'd bang you right here." He looked at me in confusion.

"The hell? Kai, i'm a dude. I think you mean if you were gay. Which you are." I returned his confused look tenfold.

"Excuse me? You're a male?! LIES!" I shouted and immediately tackled him into a wall and began undoing his pants. 

"KAI! WHAT THE FUCK?!" He shrieked, desperately trying to shove me away. People in the halls were staring, and pointing, but I had to be sure Derek had a penis. It was my mission!