Lights, Camera, Harry // l.s.

Chapter 23

Louis' POV

When Harry bumped into me, I knew he was scared.

He probably shit his pants just because he touched me.

But then again, I've given him every reason to.

I have been a complete and utter asshole to him from day 1. It's no wonder he can't stand to be around me.

I'm such a bad person.

He doesn't deserve what I put him through. He is such a nice guy and deserves so much better than to have me busting his balls every single day.

But it was necessary.

As much as I hated doing it, I had to.

He couldn't get close to me. I couldn't let that happen.

Not after last time...

I sighed and headed to my dressing room where Liam would be waiting for me.

"You ready?" He asked me once I'd entered.

He was lounging on my couch, eating an apple as he waited.

I sighed and nodded. "Just let me change." I told him.

I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom as Liam kept talking.

"We're still meeting Niall, yeah?" He called out.

"Yeah," I replied half heartedly. "And Zayn's coming too."

"Sweet." His voice sounded muffled, he must have taken another bite.

I pulled my jumper over my head and came back out.

"So what are we doing?" Liam asked, standing up when he saw me grab my bag.

"My place. Food and Xbox." I replied simply.

We walked to the door and just as I was about to open it, I had an idea.

I turned around and stopped us.

"Today's Wednesday, right?" I asked him.

"Yeah?" He replied sceptically.

"Oh right." I nodded. "Did you see Harry earlier?"

"Yeah, I spoke to him just before." Liam continued sounding even more confused. "Why?"

"Just wondering." I replied, nonchalantly. I moved to exit, but hr blocked my way.

"Why?" He asked again, a little more forcefully.

"Harry has Wednesday afternoons off, right?" I shrugged.

He rolled his eyes, my sudden spiel all making sense to him now.

I ask him about Harry a lot.

I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm fascinated by him and I can't help it. I'm intrigued and I know it's going to end badly. I just know it, but still, I can't help myself.

"Yes, Louis." He told me.

"You're sure?" I added.

"Yes, I'm sure." He reassured me with a smile. "You asked me to memorise is whole schedule, remember? So that I could, in turn, tell you when he finishes every day."

"Yeah, I'm just checking." I turned back around and opened the door.

"What's your deal with him anyway?" Liam asked me as we made our way out of the building.

"He just seems like a nice guy, that's all." I blew him off. He couldn't know the real reason. He wouldn't understand.

Only Niall understands me.

As much as I treasure him and Zayn sticking by me even though I am the most horrible person on the face of this planet, I didn't want to tell them.

Only Niall knows how completely fucked up I am.

"I know he's a nice guy. I see him and talk to him every day. We're friends." Liam continued. "But that doesn't answer my question."

"Just drop it, will you!" I snapped, suddenly becoming closed off again.

The nice moment was over.

I turned to him in the middle of the empty hallway and shot daggers at him with my eyes.

The real, or should I say, most commonly known version of me was back.

"Dude, he's a really nice guy. I don't want you to fuck him up like you do everyone else." Liam retorted.

I looked at him with a glare, as if daring him to continue.

He did.

"Please, he doesn't deserve the treatment you give him. Why can't you just lay off him? He's not like the rest of us. He's fragile and innocent. Please, don't break him." Liam begged.

I ground my teeth together.

"What the fuck?" I said slowly.

"Dude, come on. The only people who can stand to be around you, is Niall, Zayn and I. And El but only because she likes the fame."

"And the sex." I added under my breath but he continued on anyway, oblivious to my comment.

"What happened to Louis we used to know? The one we went to school with? The one we know and love. The happy guy without a care in the world who only cared about doing what he loved and finding 'the one'?"

"He's gone, Liam. And he's never coming back." I gritted my teeth further and spoke in a low voice.

I wasn't always this cranky bitch I am know.

I used to be quite different.

Liam, Niall, Zayn and I all went to college together.

Liam and Niall were in the film and television school with me and Zayn, even though he does a few little acting jobs here and there, was mainly into art. He even opened his own gallery downtown.

Back in college, I was happy. I smiled, had fun, enjoyed life.

Well, during our first year, anyway.

But over the summer break, things changed.

Something happened that changed me.

Circumstances changed, so I changed to fit them.

I couldn't go on being that guy.

I could barely live with myself.

But I pressed on and became who I am now.

A horrible human being, completely devoid of emotion and the capacity to love.

And I don't give a fuck.

Liam looked directly into my eyes, as if searching for an answer somewhere behind my walls that I'd put up.

After a bit, he gave up and let out a sigh.

"Sometimes, I just wish you'd let us see him again. I miss him." He said more calmly.

"He's dead. He's not coming back. Get. Used. To. It." I narrowed my eyes as I spoke and he sadly nodded, knowing I was right.

"Let's go play some Xbox. Ni and Zayn will be waiting." He tried to sound upbeat but I knew him.

He was hurting inside.

And it was all my fault, cause I'm such a screw up.

This is what happens. I only cause pain. I can't make anyone happy.

I only bring sadness and destruction.

I'm fucked up and no one can fix me.

[A/N]

AND THERES SOME VALUBLE INPUT INTO THE COMPLEX BRAIN OF LOUIS TOMLINSON

ITS SHORT

DEAL WITH IT, PLS AND THANKYOU

~ Vic xo