Heartless l.h

18

Sunday 12:50 pm

I could tell from her facial expression this was a hard subject to talk about and brought up a lot of bad memories. "Take your time." I say soothing. She looks up at me and creates a half smile.

"It all started going into to freshman year, the first day of school he was the new kid. Lincoln Knightly, he caught everyone's attention if it was positive or negative. He was the "mysterious" boy in school. We had three periods together, first, third, and sixth, so it hard to not notice him with the amount of classes I had with him. Usually I wouldn't be boy crazy but something about him caught my attention and something about me caught his attention. During the school day I got detention and so did he, he walked in fifteen minutes late and sat in the back where I would usually sit. The first thing he said to me was "I'm gonna sit there" and my smart ass replied with. "Can't, my name's engraved in here." And with that started everything. We instantly clicked and the guys loved him too. We hung out everyday and constantly got in trouble, our detention desk had both of our names in it, we were the biggest trouble makers in the school. We told each other everything and anything, our home lives were different but we connected in a way. Lincoln has always been a charmer and a wild card, anyone he would talk to even if he said something rude no one could really get mad at him. That's how he got away with so much at school and at his home. About two weeks later we started dating, our relationship was strong for freshman in high school. I was his and he was mine, our love for each other was strong. If someone would mess with either of us we would get them. He was my first for practically everything, we shared a lot of moments together." She stops talking and takes a deep breathe.

"The longer we dated he told me that he never wanted to be stuck somewhere, he was always on the move. Wanting somewhere new to go. During our relationship there was no trust issues no arguments, nobody could see us breaking apart. On our one year he took me out to an abandoned building that use to be a motel, which was our favorite spot to go. He decorated it with candles and laid a blanket on the floor which was where we ate dinner. The night was one of my favorite nights ever, he did everything I liked to do. It was amazing. Afterwards he illegally drove me home and carried me up to my room. Even though we were both half asleep we both said our I love you's and we made plans the next day to hang out." She wiped a tear from her eye inhaling.

"But when I woke up he was gone, I went to where we wanted to hangout and waited for an hour. He never came, I went to his house and it was completely empty nothing was there. I went everywhere and no sign of him. My texts would go through but no answer. I went to the second place I called home, Calums house. He called the guys over in hopes of making me feel a bit better but nothing worked, nothing would stop the sobbing. We were all devastated that he left, it was so unexpected. I was at Calums house for days crying over Lincoln till there was no tears left to cry. After the crying phase I went to the isolation phase, I stayed in my room for days on end. Only leaving to use the restroom or to get a small snack. I wouldn't answer my phone and even missed some weeks of school. Nothing would make me leave my house. I burned all of our photos and even his clothes, wanting to forget anything that had to do with him. I threw my necklace that had his initials engraved in it that he gave me for my birthday. I hated him. I was never the same after, I was always acting out and didn't try to get close to anyone. I held everything in saying that I was fine but when anyone says that they're not fine. Over the month of me acting out I did a lot of stupid shit, but finally got brought back down to reality after Ashton told me I shouldn't be acting this way and told me it's okay to vent. But I was doing illegal shit and that wouldn't get me anywhere in life. It was hard but I was finally acting myself and was somewhat fine. When I finally went back to school it was the new year and I was very behind. But I got a lot of shit for being the girl that wasn't enough for her boyfriend to stay, being the girl that boyfriend randomly left because she wasn't good enough. Rumor went around that he cheated on me but my mind was filled with unanswered questions." She stops and cries. "But now here I am, fine and dandy." She smiles and laughs wiping a tear away.