Prologue

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Selena's POV

My fingers traced the black numbers on the metal ruler. The thing was light and short. I had secretly taken it from my father's drawer. Its impact was minimal, but at least it wasn't plastic. A wooden one would've been better. But I did anything I could at the moment. There was no better object in my house. I looked out of my window, it was dark outside. The streetlights made the scenery quite depressing. The moon shone brightly. I unstrapped my belt. My mom was downstairs, watching TV. If I was quiet enough, she wouldn't suspect a thing. I pulled down my pants, as soon as my eyes were on my upper legs, I started shaking. I couldn't wait to explore, but at the same time, I was scared to death. Scared that I would do something I would regret and scared that I would get caught. And in the end, I loved the tension I felt. And I didn't even start yet. I sat down on my bed and took the object back in my hands. I sighed deeply, placing the end of it against the skin of my upper legs. A cold shiver went down my spine. The ruler was colder than I thought. I embraced the tension, preparing myself for what I was planning to do. It was unheard of. I had never heard anyone about actions like these. Why did I want to do it? Did I really want to? I shouldn't withhold myself with these questions now. I looked back at the tip of the ruler and then at the spot on my leg the thing dug in.

I now lifted the object to the height of my head. Without hesitation, the ruler flew back, heading its previous spot. A sting emerged on my skin, spreading through my whole upper leg. A massive smack echoed through my room. I squeezed my eyes shut. That really hurt. My breath accelerated, as I tried to process what I just felt. It wasn't nice. It wasn't good in any way. But still, I loved it. How was this possible? Why did I enjoy my heart beating faster and faster? Was I really that much of an adrenaline junkie? My eyes flew back to the spot I hit. It left a red stripe that softly thickened. I now traced the stripe with my fingers, rubbing it a little. My instincts told me to try again, to hit myself on the exact same spot. What would happen to that stripe? This time I lifted my ruler a little easier. It flew back to the same spot. And again, the agonizing sting spread through my body. I tensed my face again. Every time that thing hit my skin, the first thoughts in my head are 'No, I don't like that. It's not a pleasurable pain. It's not good.' But during the aftermath, I could feel a bit of euphoria arising in my body. I now looked at the stripe again. I didn't hit it perfectly this time, another stripe overlapped the first. The overlapping part was redder than the rest, and it was becoming thicker as well. Gorgeous.

And still, it felt as if I was missing one major part. It felt as if I didn't dare to go far enough. As if I didn't dare to push myself to my limits. I needed something, someone, who would enjoy fulfilling the purpose I cannot fulfill myself.

Someone who can do the dare.

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