Garrance Oneshots

Crack

Garroth: Laurance what was all of that!?

Laurance: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Garroth: You sunk an entire cruise ship!

Laurance: Are you sure it was me? I'm pretty sure I would remember if I did it.

Garroth: You fired a harpoon at the captain!

Laurance: Well that sounds dangerous.

Garroth: You were headbutting children off the sides!

Laurance: That must've been horrifying to watch.

Garroth: You were making out with the ice sculpture!

Laurance: Well thank Irene that the children didn't see.

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Garroth: Laurance?

Garroth: Where are you baby?

Garroth: Come on I wanna go home and get dr-- I wanna sleep!

Garroth: Oh the overprotective boyfriend adrenaline is kicking in!

Laurance: Hey Garroth I got us a drink--

Garroth: *hugs him* Oh thank Irene I thought you fell down a hole!

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Garroth: Hush hush hush, blush blush blush!

Garroth: You are now my big fat crush!

Laurance: *eating ramen at the table*

Garroth: I'm single as I can be, you're single-- perfect for me.

Garroth: *slides onto the chair* I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why you should date me!

Garroth: Reason #1; I'm super hot~.

Garroth: Reason #2; Vincent is super not!

Garroth: Reason #3; I'm all you got, and all you got is someone hot!

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Laurance: So I think it's time we discuss some of the details for our wedding.

Garroth: I agree. I already have an idea.

Laurance: That was... fast. I'm listening.

Garroth: Wear the dress, Laurance.

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Garroth: You have no Void Burns? How!?

Laurance: I have burns, just not Void Burns.

Garroth: What burns then?

Laurance: Heartburn.

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Garroth: I'm sorry, but I'm imagining someone yelling "Bonjour" to a dick.

Laurance: This is why we can't have sex--

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*in Diaries*

Laurance: Mental stability?

Laurance: I don't know about mental stability, I'm a Shadow Knight!

Garroth, from downstairs: You better go to your therapist tomorrow!

Laurance: Oh he caught me--

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Garroth: I got 69% on my phone.

Garroth: You know what that means~.

Laurance: I can no longer sleep in the same house as you.

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