Imagine Knowing Him (Ryden)

Chapter 26

I'm back from the dead! Hey guys, I'm so, so, so, so sorry. I don't even know how long that break was, but I was so busy with university and stuff. So, please forgive me. :D Anyways, take this (to your grave, kidding) chapter as a compensation, I have time and motivation now. Hopefully more frequent updates in the future! :) 

Brendon's POV:

I ended up opening the door for Jon, he is my best friend, I shouldn't be an asshole to him. So now, here we are, he brought some Chinese food, that I haven't touched. I don't deserve food either.

"Tell me." Jon commands, mouth full of some rice. I sigh. "Tell you what, Jon? How I handled to destroy the best thing that ever happened in my life?" I look miserably out of the window of my kitchen, seeing Ryan's face in the moon. I see him everywhere.

"Exactly that. Listen, Bren, I need to know what happened or I can't help you." he says sympathetically. "You can't help me either way. Nobody can, I did this on my own, so I have to get out of it on my own." I tell Jon, I don't want more people involved in this than already are. However, Jon will try to help me, it could be unpleasant for his relationship with Spencer. Because I know Spencer well enough to know he would probably not approve of me and Ry being back together. Hell, he's probably sitting next to him right now, telling him to get over me and find someone new. Someone better, who really deserves Ryan and not that piece of shit that I call myself.

"Brendon, stop being overdramatic, there will be a way to fix things. You just have to get your ass off that couch and your head out of your ass. I'm positive, that Ryan still loves you in the back of his mind!" Jon and his always rosy attitude. Doesn't he understand what I did to Ryan? That is unforgiveable and unforgettable. It will never be the same way as it was before. "I don't know, Jon. I really don't know." I sigh again, feeling my stomach getting sick from the greasy smell of the food.

"Yes, you do know, Brendon, you do! Now, please you're not even yourself anymore. You're not the Brendon, I would call my best friend. Don't you understand that I'm here for you and I won't give up until you to get your act together! And it's gonna be a lot easier, if you actually do your part and help me with it. Answer one question, okay?" he looks demanding at me. I roll my eyes, but comply. "What, Jon?"

"Do you still love Ryan?"

Okay, this is the most ridiculous question, he could have asked. "Of course, I do. He will always have that heart of mine."

"Then I don't understand, why the hell you don't stop wheezing and finally coming up with a plan. One thing I learned over the years, is that you can't wait until everything's falling into your lap. You have to do something, so, fuck, do something, you idiot!" I look at him wide-eyed. It will never sound normal to me when Jon Walker curses, he's just to laid back for this.

"Look, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you. We both know you're not the innocent one here. Actually, on the contrary. But exactly that is the reason, you have to be the one to make attempts to get him back. He won't come running back to you out of nowhere. So, come on, the days of grief are over, now get your old sassy attitude out of the basement and get your man back!"

Get your man back? As if it would be that easy, but just to actually satisfy Jon I say: "You might be right. Maybe I can think of something." But inside I know it's near to impossible. "Well, that is not as enthusiastic as I want it to be, but it's a start. Now, please, dig in. I can't eat all of it on my own." Jon says laughingly.

So, I contemplate of this stuff looks the most eatable and take a little bite of some chicken. It feels disgusting and wrong, but I smile in Jon's direction, probably the fakest one I ever managed. He looks kinda confused but brushes it off.