SIN

Tired

REMEMBER: VOTE FIRST!

November, Saturday

Jade

I don't have a normal teenage life.

My life is not even close to being normal. For example, is it common to find a nineteen year old girl paying all the bills at her house? Maybe it is. But I honestly never thought that I would be living like this only at nineteen, taking care of my drunk mother, and making sure that we both have a roof over our heads. Keeping food on the table by maintaining three jobs, while trying to graduate high school at the same time. Obviously I'm doing it for myself because I certainly don't have a dad to make proud, or a sober mom to make happy.

The first thing I notice when I finally return to my apartment at three in the morning is that the lights are off. And they're never off. No matter how high the bill goes, my mother never turns off the lights, never mind that I'm the only one struggling to keep up with the bills.

"Mom" I call as I lock the door behind me. I flick the switch on, but the darkness remains. I'm late on the bills. The check that was supposed to cover that bill went towards my cap and gown and my book fees. "Mom" I call again, this time walking towards her room and damn near breaking my neck on whatever she left on the floor.

The first thing I hear when I open her door, is her sobbing. She tends to do that a lot. Especially when there isn't enough liquor in her system to fade her out. "J-Jadyy" She cries.

"Why are you crying?" I slowly walk towards her and plant my butt on the floor next to where she's sitting.

"I-I'm s-scared" she reaches out and grab my hands, startling me a bit from the firmness of her hands .

Of course she's scared. There is no light or ac.

"The lights will be back on tomorrow mom" I lie. I won't have a check until next week on Friday. I place my head against the wall and inhale a sharp breath. I'm so tired. Tired of this life. Tired of my life. Just so very tired.

"We're in hell baby. I should have repented when I had the time. I'm so sorry that I dragged you here with me baby" She cries and my heart tightens in my chest. As much as I want to hate her for leaving me to do this on my own, I can't find that hatred within myself. "I'm so sorry baby" she drops her head on my shoulder.

"We're not in hell mom--"

"He's gonna come get us in a few minutes. He told me he was waiting on you to get home"

Nobody told her that. She apparently hears, sees, and imagine things when she's drunk in the dark. This is really my life.

"Mom--"

"P-please d-don't let him t-take us baby" She sobs onto my shoulder, and slowly I feel the tears start to build up in my eyes. "He's coming! He's coming! Don't let him take us baby! NOOO!" She starts to panic.

"Mom stop!" I cry. It's heartbreaking to see the woman that was once my hero act like this. She continues to scream incoherently. "Nobody is coming for us mom, please stop" I pull her into an embrace.

"Don't let him take us Jady" She cries. I cry right along with her because my heart is broken. My life is broken. I'm shattered. Even my closest friends don't really know what my life looks like behind close doors.

"I won't" I assure her, running my hand down her back soothingly. "I won't mom"

She cries for a few more minutes before all the sobbing instantly turns into light snores. This is exactly what I'm going to have to endure all the way until next week.