Don't Get Angry

49- Otis: Not So Smart Yourself

I yawned, running my hand over my face. I looked out my car window and looked at Dalta's motel room door. Penny walked out of the room staring at the ground and frowning. She looked at me. "Hey." I quickly got out of my car. "Is she mad at me?"

Penny shrugged. "Why don't you go ask her yourself? I was just bringing her some clothes." She walked over to her room. I sighed then walked towards Dalta's room. I knocked on her door.

"Penny, I said I was...," she opened the door, and looked up at me, "fine."

"Can we talk?"

She looked down then stepped back so I could come inside. I took a deep breath then walked into the room. "Are you mad at me?"

She ignored me walking over to the made bed.

"You make up motel beds?"

She rolled her eyes. "Look. I'm about to take a shower. And that requires taking off my clothes. I know how you get around my boy body-"

"What?" I scoffed. "Dalta, last night had nothing to do with what you look like."

"Everything has something to do with what I look like." She wrapped a shoelace around her hair and tied a knot.

"You tie your hair up with shoe laces?"

"Scrunchies always pop."

I snickered and stared at her. The sun from the window behind me peaked through the curtains, drawing in line down Dalta's face and highlighting the brown in her eye. It took my breath away and made me feel as if I was drowning. There was something odd about having that feeling... It wasn't regular...like a crush. It makes you wonder if maybe...just maybe, this person is your soulmate. Not just because of the way they look, but the way they make you feel...like you could fix the hunger crisis in Africa...win every world war...bring world peace. But what makes it even more insane is how helpless it makes you feel at the same time...like you could melt into the floor...like you could lay down in a bed of flowers and do nothing...like you could look at them and do nothing for the rest of your life.

"Dalta," I gasped, feeling my face fill up with fire. "I love..." The air sucked out of my lung.

She grabbed her clothes, acting as if I wasn't saying what I was about to say. I don't blame her. I wasn't going to say it. I knew I wasn't. I couldn't. Her legs pulled her into the bathroom and she shut the door. I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"There's nothing wrong with your body." I stared at the door and shook my head. "You look completely normal to me... I didn't sleep with you because... I respect you. You're not that kind of person."

"How do you know who I am?" She said from the bathroom. I heard the water turn on.

"I know you. And I want you to be happy because you deserve it. Aren't you happy we didn't do anything last night?"

She went silent.

"Dalta-"

"I'm not happy. I want to get it over with so I could stop thinking about it. Everyone makes it such a big deal about it-"

I chuckled. "It's better if you wait."

"You didn't. How would you know?"

I sighed. "Dalta, I regret it. Every day, I see Taylor and I regret everything-"

"But that's different. I'm different. You actually like me...You do like me, right?"

My jaw dropped to speak. No words came out.

"I'm sorry... I sound like I'm gas-lighting you-"

"Dalta, if you think that sleeping with you is my way of proving to you that I like you, then you don't know me at all. Or how relationships work." "And maybe you aren't really ready."