Alpha Logan

TWO: party

I grew up in a family of 6 siblings, so it's always been easy for me to hide in the shadows. I never quite... belonged.

Especially after my mom died, it always felt like I was trying to hide my emotions and drown out my feelings. I wish I was vibrant and eccentric. I wish I was able to speak my mind, to walk into a room with full confidence. However, I was just a basic girl who packed her things and moved nearly a thousand miles away from home.

I wish I was more like... Madison. Madison has been my best friend ever since I moved in next door to her two years ago. She was everything I wanted to be, and I just admired her confidence. We got along great, my shy self and her fearlessness really drew us to be closer.

Madison stood at a whopping 4'11 and was a sight to be seen. She had tanned skin year round and had long brown hair that reached her mid-back. Madison's parents migrated from Turkey, and she had such beautiful features. She was truly one of the best people that has walked into my life, and I am forever grateful for that.

So on this particular night, nearly two weeks later since I saw... him. We sat in my small apartment, and she was begging me to go to some party that her boyfriend, Jason, was hosting.

"Oh please please please Bella!! We haven't gone out in weeks." Madison begged while twirling her brown glossy hair. "I don't want to go without my best friend."

I gave her a hazy look, "I don't know... I really hate that Todd guy that always comes."

Todd was... annoying. Annoying, usually drunk, and wouldn't leave me alone when I saw him. He was truly a grade-A flirt.

"Luckily he's not going to be there! You have to come, please!" Madison looked at me with pleading eyes. "I'm not going to take no for an answer."

I contemplated my options. I could try to avoid going, and simply hide in my apartment for the rest of the night... but knowing Madison she'd send an amber alert to find me.

"Okay fineeee." I dragged out, feeling defeated. "But I'm not staying there for more than 2 hours.. maybe even an hour!"

"Yay yay yay!" She clapped her hands together, squealing in excitement. "Thank you girly!! I owe you big time!" Madison reassured.

Yet, once we arrived at the party it was anything but reassuring. Being in big social events, such as a get-together at a party, just didn't mix well with me. I was far too shy to interact with a lot of people, so I typically kept myself glued to Madison's side during social events.

Jason was Madison's boyfriend for nearly a year, and he's the light of her life. They just got along so well that I craved a relationship one day like that. Jason and I were pretty cool too, he's always made an effort to have me in the picture so I definitely saw him as a brother. I was just scared that one day, eventually, he'll whisk Madison away from the apartment complex we lived at.

I wore a chunky white knit sweater with some high-waisted jeans because comfort was key. Especially in a scenario where someone like Todd could not leave me alone for the night.

I couldn't think about that right now though, I had to focus on making it through the night. I took a big gulp of my "cocktail." It consisted of watered-down fruit juice and a lot of tequila. The sip I took didn't go down smoothly, whatsoever. I opted against drinking anymore, and hopefully, I'll be able to find some water by the end of the night.

I felt the waves coming like I was preparing myself for battle.

Madison dragged me through Jason's house, making me greet everyone. There was the usual crowd of Jason's friends and coworkers, the same people I struggled to make small talk with. It wasn't anything against them, I was just far too awkward to force a conversation with them. Jason had a decent crowd of at least 30 people stacked in his house, with pop hits playing on the speakers.

"Oh, Bells!! You remember Hannah, she works with me at the office?" Madison pulled me over to her coworker. I remember Hannah vaguely, but I know she and Madison were pretty close at the office.

I swallowed my anxiety down and nodded quickly. "Yes, it's really good to see you again," I said, giving a warm smile.

"You too Bella, we'll all have to get together for a lunch date. Madison talks my ear off about you two and your adventures." She told me and gave Madison a small nudge.

"Yes please, that'd be so fun!!" Madison all but squealed. I half rolled my eyes at her excitement, but nonetheless, I agreed.

All three of us were making small talk for quite some time before my throat started to get incredibly dry. I knew I couldn't willingly take another swig at that "juice", so I had to go find water.

"Hey Maddie, I'm going to go find some water?" I lightly tugged on her arm, trying not to interrupt the conversation too much.

"Sure Bella, I'll be here." She gave me a grin. I was starting to feel my anxiety weigh on my chest like a piano. There were too many people here, too much noise. I needed water...I just needed a minute.

I started walking out of the living room and towards the kitchen. I nearly fainted when I saw the sight of him. The man from the bookstore.

The man who has had me daydreaming about those hazel eyes. The man who has invaded my thoughts for nearly two weeks, and there he stood.

Leaning against the kitchen counters, he looked annoyed. He had his muscular arms crossed across his chest. His eyebrows were scrunched together, and he looked like he was about to chew someone out. He was dressed far more casually than the first time I'd seen him. His formal suit was exchanged with a tight cotton white shirt that hugged every muscle of his. I couldn't tell if that's how he always looked, or if it was an in-the-moment thing. Either way, I don't think I wanted to find out.

Just like the first time I saw him in the bookstore that day, once our eyes met, the noise stopped. Like the man could see all my secrets, all my problems, everything I've ever done. We locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, neither of us moving an inch.

I could feel the blush on my cheeks flush the rest of my face. There was something so captivating about this man, it almost scared me. Like if I looked away from his face, everything would disintegrate.

"Bella!!!" My thoughts were interrupted by Jason, and it almost felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice on me. Jason threw his arm over my shoulders and drunkenly clambered on about his new job. "Anyways, have you seen my pretttty girlfriend?" He slurred.

"Yeah she's in the living room, but she's going to kill you once she realizes how drunk you are..." I warned and shook my head. He quickly disappeared once I told him the location of Madison.

My brain felt like it was filled with cotton-like I needed some fresh air. To be honest, I don't even remember why I went into the kitchen in the first place. I just knew I needed to get out of there because the room felt like it was closing in. I snuck one more glance at him, whose eyes were still locked on me. I made a b-line to the nearest empty rooms in Jason's house.

I just... needed a minute. Or five. I closed myself in one of Jason's guest rooms and leaned my back against the door. I took deep breaths, feeling overwhelmed by the number of people that were at this party. I had just wished I was at home, cuddling my cat and safe in my bed.

My apartment was where I was safe... safe from a panic attack like this one. I zoned out for a few minutes, trying to focus on my breathing.

In, out, in, out. Repeat.

These are breathing exercises I could never figure out.

I felt the anxiety I had pent up begin to melt away and I started to feel a lot better. I was contemplating if it was worth going back out there and acting like I wasn't just having a full freak out, or if I could stay in here for a while longer.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I leaned against the door. I embraced the silence for a few minutes longer before I heard a light knock on the door. Madison must've been looking for me, and I prayed she was ready to leave.

I pulled myself together and straightened out my shirt before I swung open the door.

It was him.

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AHHHH chapter two!!! What are you guys thinking so far?? I'm so excited to be rewriting these characters in a different light and we'll definitely see new aspects of their lives!!
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