Alpha Logan

SIX: walking

Bella:

When I was younger I had always hoped I had been adopted.

It was an easier way to imagine than face the reality of my situation. I was used to daydreaming and pretending to help me cope, but now it seems so silly.

I used to stay up late at night, praying that my real family would show up on the dark days to whisk me away. They would free me of my mom, of my demons, of everything I hated in my life. They would've saved me. And I would've been happy.

They never came.

I remember a particular night at home when the summer heat had us all hovered inside standing over the air conditioner trying to stay cool. It was a three-bedroom house that barely fit all eight of us.

I always tried to keep my siblings out of trouble, keeping them away from my parents and the arguments. It was part of my savior complex to keep them clean of what I saw, but there was no denying that we'd all witnessed the worst in our parents.

My mother sat on the big armchair in the living room, and I knew she must've been melting in her own pool of sweat. It was far too hot to sit in a room without the AC on.

I slowly walked over to her, quiet and calm. I knew that anything could set her off, she was unpredictable like that. The drinking was unpredictable like that.

I cleared my throat and subconsciously started playing with my rope bracelet. "Mom, did you want some cold water?" I quietly asked.

Her arms were crossed on her chest, looking down at the floor. My mom turned to me with pools of water in her eyes, "Why doesn't he love me?"

It was a heart-stabbing question, but it was a common one she asked.

My mom would have swum the entire ocean in order for my dad to love her again, yet my dad was distant. He was gone, probably with another woman, yet mom stayed at home crying about him not being there for us. He never really cared for us, nor my mom.

These memories pull me into a haze, something I can't quite comprehend. Maybe that's why they constantly play back in my mind over and over again.

I promised myself I'd never fall in love so I would never end up like her, lost and heartbroken. Dead and never properly loved.

Instead of wishing for a new family, I lay awake at night praying for peace.

My mind doesn't stop racing until I fall asleep. Sleep is the only reliable comfort I have for myself.

I took a deep breath and counted how many times my fan spun on the ceiling. I was getting to the 100s before I started to get dizzy.

Logan.

The thought of him made my stomach flutter. He could pull me into a trance, almost like a haze. He made my mind slow for a moment, and all I could do was admire how gorgeous he was.

Of course, he was beautiful. Beyond beautiful. Like someone, I'd dream about coming to save me.

But the reality was that I was way, way out of his league.

Logan embodied everything I wasn't. Confident, powerful, and important. He could have anything he wanted with the snap of his fingers, never mind some silly girl who couldn't stop fidgeting.

I rolled over on my side and grabbed my phone to distract myself.

Like a bad habit, I quickly took a glance at the time.

4:23 am.

I contemplated getting up, but I knew that there was no way I was going to fall back asleep. I knew all too well that my mind would keep me going.

I slipped out of bed, careful not to wake my eighteen-pound orange cat, and walked across the cold hardwood floor. It wasn't going to be for another two hours until the sun crept over the horizon, so I could work my mind in other ways.

I grabbed my thickest jacket and a pair of wool-lined boots. It's easier for me to distract myself than lay awake at night daydreaming. I found going on early morning walks helps me calm down and I sometimes find a sense of peace.

With the fall air creeping upon the Michigan air, I knew it was going to be bitter cold outside but at this point, I would've done anything to get out of my apartment.

I quickly opened the door of my apartment and I was sent on my way.

The ominous street lights fell over my head as I began walking down the sidewalk with my hands buried in my pockets. I always carried a bottle of pepper spray with me, especially since I walked so early in the morning. I think it was mostly paranoia that got the best of me, but I knew it was a sense of security.

I embraced the silence of the early morning, I love moments of peace that feel like time slows down for a bit.

Ever since I was younger, I always savored moments of peace. Now it was the only thing that kept me sane.

I took a deep breath as I began to walk beside the woods. There was something so ominous about the tall dark trees, and the unknown of whatever was crawling in my woods.

What sounded like a large footstep in the woods had me stopping dead in my tracks. I slowly looked over to the only visible tree next to me, and let out the breath of air I was holding in.

I clutched onto the pepper spray in my hand, ready to attack and jump anyone who decided to come out of the woods. I was about to start bolting back home to my apartment when I heard more sounds in between the leaves.

My heart rate must've been flying through my chest as an unworldly wolf appeared out of the woods. I saw its eyes glowering over at me and I took two steps back.

My feet felt glued to the ground. Should I try to outrun this beast? Will it run after me?

I needed to get home, I needed that cold iced water, I needed to run.

How did I manage to get myself into these unforgiving situations, and what was the possibility I was going to be able to get out of this one?

The wolf was like a creature I'd never seen before, with its height being nearly triple the size of the ones I'm used to seeing. The dark black fur kept it looking like a shadow, and I couldn't help but feel inferior.

I knew I was going to die. I knew I was approaching the last breaths I would ever take. I knew I was going to see my mom again and maybe this time we'd be happy.

I watched as the wolf kept its dark green eyes on me, not daring to move an inch. It was taking deep breaths, in and out.

It's as if the wolf and I were in a trance. Both were unsure of the other creature we were staring at.

I was waiting...for the attack. Yet, we both stood there just staring at each other. I hesitantly took another step back, and I'd expected it to pounce at me.

No movement from the overbearing wolf. I could feel my hands shaking, I was starting to feel like I was almost going to pass out.

I took this as a chance to run, and I ran as I'd never run before.

I took off feeling like my legs were going to give out any second. My feet were pounding on the pavement and started to feel sore from the work I was making them give. I was not stopping until I was safe in my bed.

I closed my eyes shut briefly, trying to regain my composure while sprinting back to my bed. I had to focus, I had to get back.

I flew the door to my apartment open and slammed the door shut, trying to calm my breathing down.

I toppled over and brought my hands to my knees trying to keep standing.

That wolf's eyes.

The height of it.

The dark fur.

It wasn't a wolf meant to be creeping into that forest.

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CHAPTER SIX <3333

Chapters seven and eight are up and posted on my Patreon! (Hint: It's in Logan's POV ;)

https://www.patreon.com/iwasalone