Alpha Logan

TWELVE: library

Logan:

Bella and I both sat in comfortable silence on the drive back from getting ice cream. The temperatures were creeping to freezing temperatures, but the look on her face made it all worth it.

I held my breath a bit as I drove back to my house. It was going to be the first time she has visited, and I was more than dreading it.

My brain kept going over the areas she might find evidence of uncovering the truth about me. It was eating me alive. The longer I knew her, the more I wanted to hide my true identity.

It's like the more little pieces of her true self break off, and it makes me want to shrivel down and hide more.

Bella deserved an honest and real guy, but I couldn't be that for her. Not the parts of me that were creeping under the skin. The more I got to know her, the tighter the iron fist felt around my throat.

Deep in my bones held the truth of the true monster I was, and there was no way either of us could ever avoid that truth.

It was something I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to. The question was whether to tell her or not to tell her.

I weighed the consequences. I went over every scenario in my head. Rethought my morals and ethics. I played out how I could make this work in a million different ways.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly as my mind plummeted in three different directions.

It was as if tonight played a role in my decision, too. It was the first time I saw her in such a vulnerable light, and it had me even questioning my morals.

I could tell she had gone through a lot by the constant ramblings, her overcompensating and apologizing. It was something that made me fall for her more, but it wasn't enough to deflect from the true light she shined.

Bella was scared and already hurt in the past. So dragging her into my turmoil could be a recipe for disaster.

Or, it could bring us closer. Ignite a flame that was already growing, adding more fuel to the fire.

My thoughts tripled over as I heard Bella humming lightly to the radio.

"Do you have any animals that live with you?" Bella huffed out, before turning her head to look over at me.

"No, I'm not home enough to be responsible for another life." I gave a hearty laugh and thought about the layout of my house over and over again.

Was there evidence of werewolves in my office? Were those rogue papers still scattered in my bedroom? Did I leave something that's alarming out on the floor?

Bella twirled her fingers in her lap as a nervous habit I'd picked up on, "I couldn't imagine not living without Clementine. It'd be far too lonely with her."

"I couldn't imagine you not having that kind of guard animal either." I teased as I pulled into the long road that my house resided at the end of.

The gate unlocked as I began to drive forward and I heard Bella let out a small gasp. I kept my focus on the land outside of my house, carefully trying to detect if my pack members weren't running wild through the yard.

"Your house is...wow," Bella commented, her eyes growing wider.

I pulled the car into the garage and quickly ran to the passenger side to let Bella out.

Did I lock the abasement? Where did I hide my guns today? Did I ever take out those ancient pictures from the photo albums?

The questions burned further into my skull as I thought more desperately about the mishaps that could go wrong tonight. Maybe I should've gone through and hidden everything before she got her, but now it was too late.