Alpha Logan

THIRTY NINE: familiar

Bella:

My shaky hands typed out a new text to him, feeling like an absolute fool. I had a bad habit of phone conversations with him late at night.

Bella: When are you free to talk?

A slow trickle of sweat fell slowly down my back as I lazily closed my eyes. My bed usually brought me comfort and ease, yet I couldn't feel an ounce of relief coursing through my body. I had a million and one thoughts rummaging through my head, and somehow I made it through the news I had just gathered.

I held my phone close to my chest, hoping to hear a ding or response... anything that would remotely bring me back to earth.

I don't even know how long I read through that book, chapter after chapter, page after page. I was finally delivered a plethora of knowledge about him and now what?

Where do I stand?

Where should I stand?

I clutched my phone harder in my grip. My mind trailed back to the phone conversation I had with my father today.

We miss you down here.

It was like I was finally able to thaw the cold, bitter feeling I had left behind in Rhode Island. It coursed through my vein, every sign in my life pointing in every direction to go home.

The vibration of my phone halted the thoughts that flew through my head. The final sense of relief I needed all day, was the text.

Logan: I'm free whenever.

I paused and held my breath. I knew it would be too forward to say right now but I slowly typed out my response when another reply came through from him.

Logan: Are you free right now?

My fingers danced across the keys as I desperately typed out my text to Logan.

Bella: Yeah I am if you want to come over.

Logan: On my way.

My heart thudded deeply in my chest as I reread the last message he sent. I think a sick, twisted part of me wanted him to just block and ignore me, that way I wouldn't have to deal with confrontations.

I sunk into my mattress as I waited anxiously for the knock on my apartment door. I clutched the blanket closer to my chest and stared hazily around my room.

The soft sound of a knock at my apartment door pulled me out of my spewing thoughts. I rushed out of bed and quickly opened the door.

The sight of him soothed an ache in my brain I couldn't quite comprehend. It was like seeing the sun after so many months of rain; like the feeling of the snow touching your eyelashes; looking at him felt...familiar.

Despite everything that has happened, I couldn't help but exhale a breath of air once I saw him. His beard was unshaven, dark circles threatening under his eyes, and the way he brushed his fingers through his hair when he was nervous. The look of him washed over me like a pile of rocks. It had to be the mate bound eating alive at him, and that I learned.

Logan's eyes took a long hard stare at me. His vision settled on me like it was the first tie we'd met. Familiar faces getting used to each other.

I cleared my throat, my eyes never straying from him. "Do you want to come in?" I opened the door wider for him to enter my apartment. Logan skillfully walked in and I leaned against the door as I watched his broad figure take ease into my apartment.

I used to think Logan looked so out of place in this tiny apartment as if he barely fit the proportions of the apartment. Yet in this moment, I couldn't imagine him in a better place right now.

"Are you doing okay?" His voice grumbled out to me.

I crossed my arms around my chest as a way to comfort myself. "Are you doing okay?" I repeated the question to him.

There was a long pause in between our questions before he responded. "No."

I harshly bit at the inside of my cheek at the sound of Logan's answer. "That makes two of us. I think we need to talk everything through...everything that happened. I got the book, it was from you?"

He slowly nodded his head. Logan was staring at me so intensely that I wondered if I had something on my face. "I'm sorry- I wasn't sure how I could communicate with you to help you understand."

"I know, it was helpful. I understand a lot more now, it's easier to piece together." My voice was soft and low. I brought my hands together in an attempt to distract myself from the nerves I felt right now. I swallowed a large lump in my throat that I couldn't push down as I spoke my next words. "How long have you known we were mates?"

"I had interviewed Jason for a job and could faintly smell you on him. I hired him and soon found you. That day in the bookstore was the first time I saw you." Logan's hand traveled up to his hair and ruffled through it.

"I don't know if I fully understand how you knew it was me?"

"Mates have a distinct, unique smell to werewolves. It's a scent we track and crave our whole lives, that's why I knew right away that day in the bookstore." Logan's voice was low.

"The mate rejection process, you could die?" I felt goosebumps arise up on my skin.

Logan's eyes flicked into a different array of emotions. Anguish delved into the depths of his hazel eyes as he continued to stare at me. "Yes."

"Were you going to be okay with that?" The mere sentence welded tears in my eyes as I thought deeper about it.

"As long as you were okay."

My cheeks burned as the idea bubbled in my brain. Logan's response had tears streaming down my face and I couldn't help but turn away from him.

I heard Logan's footsteps approach closer to me, his comforting hands encapsulated my shoulders and ignited every bone in my body. "It's okay baby, I'm not going anywhere." His arms wrapped me closer to him as I destroyed his shirt in tears. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I got you, baby. It'll be okay." His fingertips brushed against my hair in a way to comfort me.

I held him tighter to me as he soothed my crying figure. "But you were going to die because of me."

"No baby, not you. The mate bond. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here with you." Logan's voice enclosed around me, finally bringing the sense of peace I needed.