Pretty in Pink - Mean Girls the Musical One shots

It's A Female Function, Fuck Off - Cady x Janis

So, first off;

Periods need to be normalized.

Second off;

They aren't yet, but does Janis give a fuck?

Ha, no.

Let's just say rumor has it, Cady's face is still red to this day.

• • •

Cady runs up to Janis as she's walking into the school, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Hi, babe." Cady says, smiling at her.

"Hi, Cads. I'm bleeding." Janis deadpans.

"I didn't need to know that."

"We were gonna have sex tonight anyway, so might as well warn you."

"Shuck."

Homeroom at North shore high is what you'd expect.

Shane Oman is a little bitch.

All the males in the classroom can die.

Fuck homeroom.

Trying to hear someone talking to you is like trying to not get sand on you at the beach, it's impossible, even when the person is right next to you.

Even though there's only 12 people in the room, it feels like a million considering how loud it is.

Someone's throwing a football back and forth and nearly hits Mr. Brown, their homeroom teacher, in the head when they do.

"Alright Tyler, Shane," Mr. Brown says firmly, "That's enough. You can get your football back after school." He grabs the ball, stuffing it into a drawer underneath his desk.

"Fun-sucker." Shane mutters under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Oman?"

"Nothing."

Mr. Brown cocks an eyebrow and then takes out a sheet of paper.

"Taylor Wedell?"

"Here."

"Tyler Kimble?"

"Yo."

"Tyler Kimble?" Mr. Brown says again.

"Here." Tyler squeaks.

"Karen Smith?"

"Here!"

"Shane Oman—"

Janis lets out a loud sneeze, gasping quietly after.

"Bless you—."

"Fuck, I just bled a fucking ocean."

Everyone turns to her as she looks down at her lap, besides Cady.

Cady's face is what you would describe if someone poured everything red onto a white surface, and then double it.

"What the fuck?" Shane Oman speaks, "That's fucking nasty."

"So she can say that but I can't say 'yo'?" Tyler argues.

"We didn't need to know that!"

"That's gross."

"My ears are gonna need to be cleansed after hearing that—."

"It's a female function, fuck off!" Janis shouts, "What the fuck is wrong with bleeding? You guys grab your dicks in public when there's nothing to grab. Like, can we get some hummus for that baby carrot, please?" she takes a breath, "Some of the voices yelling at me were female so that just proves our society is failing. Like, what the fuck? Seriously, what is wrong with you all?"

Shocked Mr. Brown hasn't told her off yet, she stands up, "Now if you'll excuse me, I will be wiping the blood off my inner thighs, might I mention vagina if you're not too offended." And then she's out of the homeroom, her heavy boots echoing through the hallways.

"And that's my girlfriend, guys." Cady mutters, quietly slipping out of her seat and after Janis.

Janis is in the girls' bathroom, Cady can tell just by seeing her boots from under the stall.

"Janis?" Cady calls.

"Yes, babe?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fucking great, dude," Janis says loudly, "That shit was awesome."

"Honestly, I'm not shocked that you did that." Cady says, a hint of humor in her voice.

"I know you aren't."

"Still bleeding?"

"Oh, yeah."

• • •

-waits for triggered comments that pEriOds aRe gRosS-

yeeto this didn't take long but Jeffersonsmacaroni7 here you goooo

Stay awesome
-Bidi