Gaining Luck

Case closed

I had fallen asleep during the night appearently, because I woke up feeling comfortable and warm. I glanced at my side, but Kate was gone. I listened closely in the hope of hearing something that would tell me where she was, but the suite was filled with silence. Standing up, I digged into my pocket, trying to find my cell, but couldn't find it. "Crap!" I thought while heading for the door. I had to find her.

Trying to get out, I bumped into Kate who was just trying to get in. She was wearing a pair of black yoga pants, a black "Born to be bad" hoodie, and some dark sunglasses. Her hair was a hot mess and she was sporting the "I drank too much last night, so no complicated talk for me, if at all." look.

"Morning! Hungry?" She asked, slightly smiling.

"What?! Where have you been? Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, completely ignoring the fact that she was carying two small paper bags that were spreading a mouth watering scent. I wasn't hungry, I was starving.

"I woke up feeling hungry and sick so I thought I could take a walk and get us some breakfast." She answered, not looking my way. "And I didn't want to wake you up." And with that she went past, me stopping in front of the coffee table in the living room.

"That's your best answer? You didn't want to wake me up?" I felt angry and my anger was now directed at Kate. I just couldn't help it.

"Look!" She said, taking her sunglasses off and giving me a tired and pained look. "Can you -please!- yell at me later? My head hurts like a bitch!" She hissed at me.

I nodded, already feeling sorry for my outburst, and strolled to her.

"Do you need some painkillers or anything?" I asked, gently caressing her shoulder.

"Only if you can get me some morphine." Kate answered, a small but honest smile tugging at her lips.

"Sure... and while I'm at it, I can also get you a unicorn or some fairy dust." Kate giggled and I smiled at her. "So what are we eating?" She took out some donuts, a couple of muffins and two steamy cups of coffee... Ok... Two steamy cups of tea...

"Good enough?" She asked watching me with a smile.

"Perfect." I answered, smiling back at her. "But you didn't have to..."

"Yes, I had to. This was the least I could do for you after everything you've done for me. Thanks for last night, by the way."

"Don't worry. It was my pleasure really." I sat on the chair next to me and took a donut. Kate sat as well and started eating a muffin. She was peeking at me from under her lashes and I couldn't pretend I didn't see her anymore. "Is there something wrong?"

"Tell me about you and Jen."

I rolled my eyes and let out a small, hard laugh.

"Please..."

"Oh, come on! You can't be serious."

"But I am. Please, Lucas!" Her expression looked pained again and it killed me to see her like that.

"Tell you what about me and Jen?" I asked and sighed, dropping my donut.

"I don't know... How did you meet her? Have you loved her? Why does she call you Luck -and please don't tell me just "it's a nickname" again? For how long have you been together? Do you still have felings for her?... And things like that..." Her voice had turned into a whisper while asking the last question, so there was no doubt in my heart anymore that she cared, and that she was jealous.

"Well... I've met her at a friend's Christmas party two years ago and we started going out. Things evolved and we found ourselves moving in together and buying a TV together and so on, until even our fathers got in business together. Then she met Jace, my best friend, and the rest you know..." Kate nodded and I found myself enjoying our talk, not feeling embarrassed at all. "I only found out about them a couple of months ago, and I've ended it with both of them. Jace left -he went to Spain- shortly after and I got stuck with Jen. She says she wants me to forgive her -which I've already done- but I can't forget and I can't move on. Not with her... Not anymore..."

I stopped waiting for Kate to say something but she was just looking at me, her eyes filled with simpathy and warmth and kindness and something else I couldn't put my finger on.

"Now, about your second question... Yes, I have loved her. I was seeing myself marrying this woman, having children and a family with her even though I was still so young. So yes, I have loved her with all my heart, but that wasn't enough."

Kate's lips were slightly parted and she looked like she was about to say something, but then she stopped. She nodded for me to continue and I started thinking about the next question and how to answer to it.

"The nickname now... She is calling me "Luck" -even though I've asked her several times to stop- because that's how everybody I've ever cared about calls me. Because that's how my mother used to call me when I was a child -she used to say I was her lucky charm and that she would be safe and happy as long as I was around her. She died in a car crash when I was twelve."

Kate made a strangled sound and I watched her carefully.

"I'm sorry! Please go on."

"That's pretty much it about the nickname I'd be honoured for you to call me by one day." Kate turned crimson and tried to hide her face. "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." I said trying to catch her eyes.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable... Luck." She bit her lower lip and blushed some more, but I just couldn't get my nickname rolling out of her mouth out of my mind. It had sounded so natural and lovely that I've lost my train of thought for a moment. The only other person saying it like that I could remember of was my mom and even she sounded worse than Kate right now. In that moment I thanked God for breaking me up with Jen and giving me Kate instead, even though I knew I didn't deserve her.

"Where was I? Oh right... We broke up around three months ago after two years of lies and fake love. And, finally... No. I don't love her anymore. I don't really consider her my friend either, but I do my best to be polite to her all the time."

Kate was looking at me when I finished and she seemed really pleased.

"What about you and that Rowland guy?" I asked feeling a little curious myself.

"Don't! You already know everything about me. Don't pretend like you don't."

"Indeed, but I'd like to hear your version of events as well. Do you love him?"

"Yes but I'm not in love with him, even though I wish I could be. It would make things a lot easier."

"And why can't you love him like that? What stops you?" Of course I had a clue about what the answer might be, but I really wanted to hear her saying it.

"Ok! Case closed! I know everything I wanted to know and you know more than I wanted you to know... I should go get ready for the departure." Kate said standing up.

"But we're leaving in two days. You've got plenty of time." I knew I was smirking but I couldn't help it.

"I'm homesick. I need to do this now."

I stood up as well and smiled at her.

"Thanks for listening to me! I have never talked about those things with anyone until now. Thank you for that." I turned my back to Kate and walked out of her suite. For the first time in my life, I felt completely healed and free. Now I knew she was the one. Now I knew that between us was more than just passion and lust -and God knows we had plenty of those. And it felt like heaven and hell combined to have her so close to me and yet not have her at all.

Remembering about the contract we closed thanks to her and wanting to both thank her and see her again -soon- I decided that she had to come to dinner with our new business parteners -also being pretty sure that she was the one deserving to be there the most, given the fact that she was the one whose words conviced everyne to take the chance. I took my cell out of my pants pocket -even though I could have sworn it wasn't there the last time I checked- and texted her.

I'll pick you up at eight for a business dinner. Be ready.

Her answering text was short, but even so, it got my blood boiling.

Yes, boss!