Reconditioned...

30 - Honor & War (Besa)

She knew this place...

She knew the little hands that she was staring at that held two dollar bills...

The little pink dress; oh too familiar...

The room she stood in; the party store, filled with variant decorations in so many colors.

The streamers, banners and...the balloons...

Pop corn and cotton candy machines; bubble machines and inflatable cartoon characters...

This was a memory-no, a dream; one that she had not experienced in so many months, but here she was in her little body again, about to turn around to see the smiling clerk...

He was certainly there and greeting her with lovely complements of her beautiful dress.

This time though, Kris didn't twirl for him; she couldn't even give him a smile. None like the other times she had had this dream, she was actually aware of what was happening and she knew what was about to happen. Kris pulled the door open and bolted out onto the pavement just in time to watch her mother step closer to the edge of the road. She looked down the street and saw the delivery truck making its turn in her direction, but Kris was not going to let it happen again.

"Mommy!" She yelled as she ran out to stop her and her mother's head whipped around in shock. She couldn't believe that Kris had come out already and had found her about to do the unthinkable.

"Kris..." She whispered and winced as the truck sped by and stirred the tail ends of her skirts with wind.

She had done it.

For once, Kris had finally stopped the horror from reoccurring and saved her mother.

"Don't...don't do it...please." Her little voice pled as she sobbed. She ran into her mother and buried her face into her dress as she wept.

"Don't leave me..." her little voice cried.

She felt her mother's quaking arms encircle her and she stooped down to hold her. This felt so right. This was how her embrace always felt; how her hair always smelled as it ebbed and tickled across her face and the warmth only her body could give Kris. She missed this and could feel the tears on her cheeks because although this was all she ever wanted, Kris knew it was not real.

Her mother sat on the pavement and swallowed Kris up in her arms as she too lamented.

"I'm so sorry baby...so sorry. I failed you didn't I?" She cried as the little body she held sobbed hard in her embrace. She kissed her head and petted her hair as her own tears dripped on her daughter's face.

"You've never failed me mom. Even now...I can still feel your love..."

The voice was not of a little child but Kris' as an adult. She opened her eyes and found herself in her mother's arms; grown as she was now. When she looked up, she gasped as her mother's smile filled with a joy that she had missed witnessing.

"But I'm not here aren't I? I left my baby girl with so much grief..." Her mother whispered.
"It hurt for awhile mom...a very long time, but now...now I'm happy. I truly forgive you."

Katherine lowered her head and sighed as if the weight of the world had left her shoulders.

"I'm so happy to hear that. It doesn't hurt anymore..." She smiled with teary eyes.