Orphan || 재용[√]

t h i r t y

Taeyong ; 

  "taeyong maybe we should brea-"

  "are you serious?" i asked.

  jaehyun nodded and looked down, averting his gaze. i put down my book and scooted closer to jaehyun, placing a hand on his cheek. i leaned in for a kiss, but instead of my lips touching his, i was met with his hand. jaehyun put his hand between us as he shook his head.

  "if you do this, it's going to be harder for the two of us."

  i sighed and removed my hand from his cheek, letting it rest on my legs instead.

  "but why do we have to? i thought you said you were going to try convincing your mom," i muttered.

  "there will be someone who'll give you more than i can, someone who can care of you and make you happier compared to me. you can also experience what it feels like to have a real family of your own then," jaehyun managed to say.

  "but i already feel happy with you, and i've always treated aunt and uncle like a real family"

  "taeyong, please."

  "will anything change your mind?"

  jaehyun shook his head, "taeyong, please."

  scratching the nape of his neck, he stood up from the bed and headed towards the door.

  "it'll be better for the two of us. it'll be better for you."

  and with that jaehyun just left.

  i clenched my thigh, nails digging into the flesh as a mist was brought to my eyes. i thigh hurt, but not as much as my heart. my heart had turned into a ball of rubberbands and they were snapping, one by one. my nails punctured my skin and beads of crimson liquid started to appear but that didn't bother me at all.

  jaehyun said that breaking up will be better for me, but did he ever put my feelings into consideration?

  i brought my hands to my face, wiping my tears with a sigh. i headed to the bathroom, washing off the crimson liquid on my thigh and replaced my shorts with pants. grabbing a black cap, i put it on followed by a hooded jacket. i exited the house, putting the hood over my head, going wherever my legs carried me.

  after walking continuously, the sun was already starting to set. i stopped at the top of the bridge, watching with an unwavering gaze as the sun sipped behind the horizon, firstly cascading a prim bombardment of colours that were flung over the sky. the receding blue and oranges battled the blackness pushing it away with arms. it shone on the lake below shining its deep depths, the radiant glow scintillated and beamed. the sun floated downwards like a deflated balloon, sudden darkness as receding colours routed.

   the lights on the lampposts were now turned on, illuminating the darkened sky and road. cars zoomed as i walked slowly on the pavement. i didn't plan on going home yet and ended up going to a park. the park was already empty, the nature undisturbed by children who were constantly running around and their parents urging them to slow down or else they would fall and hurt themselves.

  i took a seat on one of the many empty benches facing the playground. crickets were chirping, stars shining brightly in the sky as the calm and cooling wind touched my skin. i wasn't aware of how much time had passed since i didn't bring anything out other than my keys. even if i was late for dinner or if it was already way past midnight, who would care. as they said, they weren't my real family anyway.

  thoughts started to cloud my mind, revisiting memories whether they were good ones or bad ones. i was so happy when the jaehyun and i finally made up after the misunderstanding i had with hana. i was so busy putting out a fire directly in front of me that i was completely oblivious to the inferno raging at my back. who would have known that right after making up with each other, we were to break up?

  as of perfect timing, it started to rain. it was as if the sky was weeping for me too. rains and tears mingle on my face, salty tracks blending into the fresh sky-fallen trickled. only the pinkness of my eyes gave any clue to my sadness and in this city who will look closely enough to tell. 

  i should have left and headed back, instead i stayed on the bench, letting the rain wash the tears off my face. now, i didn't have a home, it was just a house. jaehyun's house used to feel like home, but now it felt like i was just imposing on them and they were trying to kick me out. i felt like an abandoned puppy.

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c/n :

oof i love angst

another chapt will be out ltr at night since my mom's bringing me out to shop first hehe

also winwin's halloween costume of gin made me think of another story plot for yuwin jsdhjsdhj