You and I, collide.

It's about time!

CAMILA

I was staring to feel sad again so I went out and went here. Where was here? At the school parking lot. I wanted to be alone for a bit so I went here to smoke. I didn't have to worry students would see me because this part of the school was secluded and exclusive only for teachers' parking area.

Usually when I got sad I drink but I couldn't because I was trying to get sober.

Sober. I hate being sober it made me feel the pain so much more when I was drunk.
I took a hit of my smoke and laid down on the hood of the stranger's car feeling everything while looking at the sky. I closed my eyes and started humming the tune of the song that was first to come in my mind.

I was humming, then I was singing already.

(The song is called "Sober" by Joy Oladokun)

A/N: There is also an acoustic version of this. Listen to it! And tell me what do you like more the original or the acoustic.

Now that I'm sober my temperature's a little colder
I see it clearly now, I only fell for you
'Cause I was young, dumb and broken
I hate being sober
My hands are shaking and the nights are lonely
I put my body and my soul through hell for you
Why does it hurt that it's over?

I've been drunk for three years and fifteen days
Off that perfume that you wear
And that good look on your face
I ignored all my worst fears
And now this liquor won't chase
The thought of you from my head
My mouth still stings from the taste of it

It has been three weeks since my mental breakdowns. Yes, breakdowns. Plural. I had my first in Lauren's car and the second in my grandmother's office. I couldn't believe I had two breakdowns in a day that previous weeks. I couldn't believe that I let them saw me in my vulnerable state. I had told myself that I wouldn't let the past get me at every chance that turned me into a raged psycho but it was easier said than done. When you had a past like me. Tell me if it was that easy to move on and go on like every fucking thing was normal.

It was all too much to take in and all too much to deal with and... forget. It hurts me every time when I remember them. I just couldn't what kind of person who would hurt their loved ones like I did.

My mom.

Keana.

Kamil Marie.

Tears welled up in my eyes when all the memories of them came rushing to my head again- my dau-

"Camila?" I heard the familiar raspy voice that made me weak every time. I quickly wiped my eyes with my palm when I heard footsteps.

I sit up then coughed to hide my after cry voice.

"What are you doing here in the parking lot?" She eyed the vicinity like she was looking for someone. "Alone?"

I rolled my eyes and took a puff from my cigarette to annoy her but she didn't seem faze by it. She probably used to see people smoking... or maybe Tyra smokes too. Whatever.

I didn't really want to talk with Lauren even though I missed her so fucking much this past three weeks. You might ask why. She kept her distance. She thought she was doing a great job to not make it so obvious that she was basically avoiding me well she was wrong.

She was not talking to me like she used to like when I teased her I got no comebacks or any sarcastic witty comments. When I talked to her she wouldn't look into my eyes. It got to the point that I pretended that something got in my left eye and I asked her to blow it out or maybe check it but she started to be awkward like she couldn't blow my eye because she couldn't look into my eyes. And the worst part was, she didn't laugh at my jokes anymore! I mean come on!