⇢ Chapter 27.

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Chapter 27.

Shota, knowing he didn't want to remember his past but, he felt he owed it to Hizashi. "Back when I was in college I stood to myself. The only ones I was always with was Nemuri and Nori. I felt comfortable with them. There was also this senpai in the English department I was in. He was really cool and lay back. I felt comfortable around him so whenever I wasn't with Nori or Nemuri I was with him. Before I knew it, I started to fall for him but I knew he was straight." Shota paused.

"One day, he invited me to his place to watch a movie since he knew I'm not good with crowds. I went over and next thing I knew we hooked up. He told me he loves me and he never felt this way for anyone. I was so happy. For a year we was always together. I did everything for him, when he needed something—I did it. But, Nori and Nemuri didn't trust him, they felt like he was just using me. I really wished I listened to them.." Shota pauses once more, for moment, realizing how he wished he did listen to them.

Shota continues, "after some time I started to realize something was wrong. So I went to his place and found out he moved. When I asked him about it, he got angry and accused me of not trusting him and making something out of nothing. After that he would always bring up how he felt trap, always being in the house and when we do go out he would leave me alone and talk to everyone. He knew I hated that but still did it. One day, Nori told me he saw him with a women going to a love hotel. I didn't believe Nori or I should say I didn't want to believe him. I fought with him and stop talking to him. Dick move.. I know, but he was my everything. Then out of the blue he changed his number and left the school. I had no way of contacting him. He disappeared, after I gave him $5,000 because he told me his mother was sick and needed medicine. I used all my savings to give him that and he just vanished. I was devastated. Nemuri found out he was engaged and was getting married. It broke me. After that I never let anyone close to me. That was also around the time I hooked up with Toshi's mom. We were both hurt and it happened. When Toshi was born I decided to devote everything to him. As long as I had him I wouldn't need anyone else. That was until you came along." Shota says as he held Hizashi hand.

Hizashi, after listening to everything Shota said, realized how hurt and broken Shota is. He lets go of Shota hand and hugs him instead. Hizashi held on tight making Shota struggling to breathe.

"Sorry, sorry, I just felt like I needed to hug you." Hizashi says as he finally lets Shota go, letting him catch his breathe. "I understand why you are so guarded now. But you can't put that on me. I'm not him. I never loved anyone the way I love you. But when I love something, I hold on to it with everything I have. I love you Shota. I love you more then anything in the world but maybe we shouldn't be together." Hizashi says with a sad voice.

Shota was shocked by what just came out of Hizashi's mouth felt his heart break. He just stood there trying to hold back his tears but failing to do so.

"Shota listen, I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I'll still be here. When I say we shouldn't be together I meant that we both should use this time to really get to know each other and for you to finally let go of your past. We rushed into this quickly and it's also wrong because of everything that happened with the bet. How about we start as friends and let it build from there?" Hizashi's says as he wipes Shota tears.

Shota knew Hizashi was right. It's not fair to Hizashi to deal with Shota insecurities. "You're right. So that means no more sex?" Shota asks with a small smile.

"Well I didn't say anything about no sex.." Hizashi says with a smile. Shota just laughs and looks at Hizashi before saying the thing he knew Hizashi will hate.. and himself as well. "If we are gonna build our relationship then that means no sex. It will only make things harder. If we are gonna do this then let's do this right." Shota says as he holds Hizashi hand.

Hizashi, who knows Shota is right, still pouts not wanting to give up the sex, it's too good to give up but they both agreed to start over and work on there relationship.

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They may not be together now but now they can rebuild their relationship into a healthy and honest one. The love is to strong to lose. : )

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