Craving for HIM

Chapter 4

I was sitting in the car thinking about how lively this city looks. Everyone is running in this race of life. But Neil, I don't know what he wants. Why does he always compare himself to his dad. Why can't he let things be the way they are?

Why doesn't he realize that he's actually isolating himself from the happiness that life has offered him time and again?

My thoughts came to a halt when the driver stopped the car. I looked around and realized that I had reached the hotel.
I stepped out of the car and looked around. I saw Neil standing a few steps away.
I slowly walked towards him and tapped his shoulder.
He turned.

N: Avni.
He looked at me for a moment and for a second I felt a different kind of emotion in his eyes. It was something similar to My Neil.
And it disappeared again.

N: We should move inside.

I thought he'd compliment me but I forgot that I no more looked beautiful, its just the makeup that anyone can do.
He held out his hand for me to hold.
Of course, he's got to show that he loves you a lot to the world. Said my mind.

I held his hand and he just pulled his hand back and looked at me with widened eyes.
He rejected me. He does not want me anymore. He's disgusted by my touch.
A tear  slipped out of my eye.

N: For God sake Avni, do not create a drama over here. Everyone is noticing. Wipe your tears and come with me.
He said in a low voice but I could make out that he was frustrated.

He pulled me inside while I quietly wiped my tears.

As soon as we entered the hall, a lady came towards us. Neil held her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. I felt my heart clench. My breathing was again turning ragged. I took deep breaths to calm myself.

L: Finally, Mr. Khanna. You're here and I see your beautiful wife besides you. I must say she's pretty.
She said. I could make out the genuineness in her voice. I gave her a tight smile because whatever I saw before was difficult to settle.

N: I'll see you in a while Mrs. Chopra.

L: Sure. Nice meeting both of you.
She said and left.

Neil then took me to a side and ordered for water. I was confused. Instead of wine or Scotch, he was having water. He passed me the water and a tablet. I frowned and looked at him.

N: You've got fever. I don't want you to fall more sick. Take it.
He said genuinely with softness in his voice, just like My Neil.

I smiled and took the water and the tablet.

A: Thanks.

N: Its fine plus I don't want anyone to think that I don't care about my wife.

Again, its for the world. He doesn't care about me but he does care for the world. I wanted to ask him if he only cares about the world or me. But couldn't do it. I am too weak and this place isn't right for my emotions to breakthrough.
I noticed many couples dancing on the dancefloor. My favourite song was playing.
I smiled.

A: Neil.

N: Hmm..
He said still looking into his phone screen.

A: Its my favourite song. Lets dance.

N: I'm busy Avni.
All my excitement washed away. I should not be surprised.

The lady whom we met at the entrance came towards us.

L: Mr. Khanna, would you mind a dance?
Neil looked up from his phone and smiled. He freaking smiled! He has never smiled at me in the past so many years.

N: Sure. I was just waiting for someone to dance with me.
He said holding her hand.

I felt my eyes turn glassy as they walked towards the dancefloor. Something shattered inside. I was already shattered and this thing broke me more. I walked towards the washroom before someone notices me crying.

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