"Jared, you can't keep avoiding me. We need to talk. Look, it's been a few days and I've had some time to think about what I said to you. Maybe I was a bit too harsh. Please call me so that we can talk about this. I'm sorry, bye." I listened to her message again, but still refused to call her back.
I mean, what was left to say? She made it clear that she planned to continue seeing this other guy and that all I'd ever be was a friend she had sex with. What's the point of embarrassing myself by spilling my feelings if that's all she wanted. The jealousy boiled inside of me every time I thought of his hands on her body, touching her the same way I do.
I made sure that I kept busy and when a whole week passed with zero contact, I was sure it was over. On Friday I was at lunch with Shannon when she lit my phone up. "Aren't you gonna get that?" He asked, nodding toward the brightly lit screen.
I declined the call and stared down at my food. "No, I have nothing to say to her." Taking another bite, I looked around the half empty restaurant. "She made it clear that she doesn't care about me."
"Well, obviously she does or she wouldn't be calling you." He pushed his plate away and leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "How's her friend Nicole? That's a wild one." A wave of nausea rolled through me, just knowing that Shannon was with her too.
"I don't care to discuss her, she's trash."
A broad grin spread across his face. "Oh come on Jay, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? She wasn't that bad. I enjoyed her, she was fun."
"If you say so, but I sure do hope you used a condom. She's been around, you know."
Narrowing his eyes, he chuckled. "And you would know this how exactly?"
I wish I didn't, but I did. Turning my head toward him, I glowered at him, silently validating the question he hadn't even asked.
"You didn't!" He sighed. "Ugh, Wait. What about Jennifer?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Does this have anything to do with you not taking her calls?" He wasn't used to me keeping secrets from him and I knew he wouldn't stop until he got it out of me.
"I'm so confused. She obviously knows so why isn't she ignoring your calls? This shit is backwards."
"Alright! I fucked up. Yes, I was with Nicole in London, during the same time I was with Jennifer. I began to realize that I was developing feelings for Jen, deep feelings, but she found out. We fought, and now she's seeing me and this other guy at the same time. I tried to tell her how I feel, but she insisted we remain friends with benefits." I knew I was just feeling sorry for myself and that my brother wouldn't hesitate to put me in my place. The truth was, I never had a woman that I cared about, treat me quite like Jennifer. She wouldn't take my shit and I was unable to manipulate any situation with her.
He finished what was left in his glass and chuckled. "Get the fuck out of here with that shit. You don't actually believe that's what she really wants, do you?"
"I didn't at first, I assumed it was just some tactic to get me to agree to not see anyone else, but now I'm not so sure."
Shaking his head, he stared at me. "Of course it is. Look, I think that what you need to realize is that people handle things differently. It takes some people longer to get over shit than others and then some people can never move past certain things. I mean, she obviously wants you Jared, even after what you did. Maybe you should give it a shot."
"I can't make up my mind what I want to do. Part of me wants to go to her and say all of the things she wants to hear, but the other part of me is still unsure if this is even what I want." I ran my fingers through my hair, annoyed at my own indecisiveness.
"Jared, love is not a fucking light switch, you can't just turn it off and on at your own convenience. I think you already know what you want, you just haven't accepted it yet, and if you fuck around too long, she may get sick of waiting."
He was right, it's been five days since we last spoke and I had to see her. "You're right. Do you ever wish you could just go back to being a kid and forget all of this bullshit sometimes?"
Nodding, he stretched out and stood, pushing his chair under the table. "Nah, I'm enjoying the way my life is now."
I tossed cash on the table and got up, walking with him outside. Shannon unlocked his car and when I slid into the passenger seat, he elbowed me. "Why don't you try and get her to go somewhere with you. You know, go away for the weekend, set things right."
That's not a bad idea. If I could get her alone, maybe she would realize that I'm serious and really do mean what I say. "Maybe." He drove me home.
I gave Shayla a list of a few things to do, including getting in touch with Luke and making sure Jennifer had the whole weekend off. I then promised her the whole weekend off too if she handled all of my reservations. I changed my clothes and drove out to Calabasas around the time I knew she would be getting home. I just prayed that she didn't have a date with Mike.
I got out of the truck, walked up to the balcony and waited for her car to drive in. Twenty minutes later she turned in and parked, getting out and immediately noticing my truck. I waved as her eyes traveled up to the balcony.
"Hi." She called out when she got to the top of the steps.
"Hi." I followed behind her as she walked to the door and unlocked it. She pushed the door open and stepped inside. "Sorry the place is a mess, I've been kinda busy lately. You want a bottle of water?" She turned to look at me before moving into the kitchen.
"No, I'm good." I followed her and leaned back against the countertop. "I want you to go away with me for the weekend. Shayla cleared your schedule with Luke and made reservations for us at a nice hotel in Vegas. I just want to spend the weekend with you, alone."
"Jared! You can't do that! You've avoided me for a whole fucking week! And now you have the nerve to go to Luke, without even talking to me first?" She asked, folding her arms and squinting at me. "I don't understand! We don't have the kind of relationship that would require a weekend away together, remember? I do have another 'friend' Jared!"
"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" I sighed and took a deep breath. "Maybe I wanted to take you away to offer you something more than what we have right now. Did you ever think of that? Maybe I don't want you to have any other 'friends.' Damn Jennifer, I've been trying to gather up the nerve to tell you that I want you all to myself."
"What? Don't fuck with me Jared."
"I'm not!" I began pacing, nervously. "I wanted to tell you that night, the last time I was here, but you were so pissed and I chickened out."
I watched the corners of her lips turn up into a smile and she walked toward me. Her arms wrapped around my neck. "I'm so happy to hear you say this." She put her face into my chest. "I'm sorry that I was such a bitch to you that night."
"I'm sorry that I walked out so angry-" Her kiss stole the words I needed to say. The warmth rushing through my veins as her lips caressed mine, gave me a sort of lightheaded feeling. It felt so right, the way her lips moved against mine and I knew she had to feel it too. Pulling away and breaking the kiss, I whispered against her ear. "Let's get you packed."
