her (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 16 - Koala Bear

The two of you were silent as Namjoon carried you on the trail. You noticed that he was breathing heavily, out of discomfort. Every breath was visible in the cold air. "I can walk." you said. Namjoon's been carrying you for about an hour, but there was sign of anyone around you.

"Shut up. No you can't. Not until I say you can." His grip on your legs tightened. You leaned your chin on his shoulder, each step he took caused you to bounce a little bit.

"I'm sorry." you breathe out. Your turned your face so that your cheek was pressed up against his back.

"For what?" he asked, his footsteps continued.

"If I had been more careful, we wouldn't be lost like this."

He laughed. "No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have joked like that earlier. You know I don't mean it, right? I only said that so that Hoseok wouldn't be your partner." His tone was serious, which made you confused. For one thing, they're friends, and also, he could have suggested Chaeyoung to be your partner.

"Oh, okay. Well just so you know, we're okay with each other now. I think."

"That wasn't why I did it." he murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing."

You sighed. Throughout the time you've been living together, your relationship has gotten a lot better. But he was still hiding a part of himself from you. He never talked about his feelings or his family. It strangely made you feel disheartened. You couldn't blame him though, trusting people is a hard thing to do. After another 10 minutes, you made him put you down so that he could take a break. He sat you down on a dry hill, he sat leaning on a tree facing you.

"Namjoon, how is it that I know nothing about you?" you asked him, while trying to carefully lay your ankle down.

"What do you mean?" he looked up at you as he massage his neck.

"We've lived together for almost half a year. But I have no idea what your favorite color is, or your favorite food, your shoe size, your favorite animal, favorite number, favorite ice cream flavor, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, your goals for the future."

"Why would you want to know those things?"

"Why wouldn't I? Aren't we friends?" you shrugged your shoulders, your lips curled to one side. A thought occurred that he might only see you as his employee, in which case, you must have made a fool of yourself.

He tilted his head and smiled curiously, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. "Why aren't you asking about the obvious thing? You know my attachment issues. Why aren't you asking about that?" His eyes pierced through yours, but you kept a steady gaze.

"Yes, I have thought about asking that. But if you had wanted to tell me, you would have already. It doesn't do me any good to pry it out of you. It's obviously a big deal to you and I want to respect that. And until then, I'll wait. I just hope I could help you, like you have helped me."

"I've helped you? How?" This time, he showed you a small smile, but still enough to show off the curves on his cheeks, his dimples.

"I don't know, exactly. You force me to depend on you even though you're a jerk sometimes, but I never mind it. I normally would have. I'm not sure what you and Kyungsoo talked about, but when he called me later that night, he said to trust you. He wouldn't have said it if you were a bad person. But the funny thing is, even without him saying that, I've already found myself leaning towards you most of the time."

"And do you like that?"

"Strangely, yes. Since Hoseok left, I vowed to never feel attachment again. But that wall slowly disappeared with you. Everytime you smile at me, I find myself more drawn to you." Namjoon listened to you, his smile grew wider and he stood up from his seat. He moved closer to you, but you didn't notice as you were looking down at your feet, and continued talking. "I didn't have to force myself to feel something for you, my heart just kinda did it on its own. And I let it... Oh my god, what am I saying?"

Your hands moved to cover your face because you could feel it heating up. But that didn't last long because Namjoon crouched down in front of you and pulled your hands away. You were surprised by this gesture.

"What-"

"Black, pink, and purple." he said, cutting you off from your question, "Meat. 270 mm. Koala bear. 8. Vanilla. Seafood makes me sad because I love sea animals. My goal for the future is to produce more songs, and gaining a new insight on life. Am I missing anything?"

"What makes you happy?" you repeated

"This moment. What you said a minutes ago. The color of your eyes."

"Wait, what?" Your mind couldn't process what was happening right now, but he kept staring into your eyes and speaking. It was mesmerizing.

He continued. "The way the sun shines on your hair. Your laugh. The little dance you do when you cook. When your eyes focus on whatever it is that you're doing. Your presence near me, and I wish I could always keep you near me. And finally," he leaned in closer, his hands cupping your face and pulling it towards his, "the feeling of your lips on mine."

Before you could process what happened, you felt his lips on yours. It was warm, and soft. After your heart has calmed down, literally not by much, you leaned into it, and opened up for him. Your lips mirroring each others movement. It was gentle, but almost like a cry of desperation. His arms found their way around his waist and you wrapped yours around his back. It was an uncomfortable position for the two of you, but neither was willing to break the kiss. You were disappointed when he pulled back, but he was smiling as he kissed your forehead.

"You make me happy."

"What?"

"Y/N, are you still confused? I like you too, pabo."

"But why?"

"I don't know either. Being with you feel natural. You know that I normally hate people, but I don't think I could ever hate you. I even have you as my phone wallpaper." He took out his phone to show you the photo of you and Rapmon playing in the park that one day. You vaguely remember a camera shuttering sound, but you didn't realize he took a picture of you.

"You do a terrible job of showing your feelings." you commented.

"What?" he asked, his face was obvious that he's offended, "I think I've been pretty obvious. When I gave you my jacket, when I gave you an office as a sign of my feelings. I practically took care of you the whole day when you were sick. When Kyungsoo came over, I realized how badly I wanted you to stay with me. That's why I put up with those things. And earlier, with Hoseok, I didn't want you to be his partner because...." he wandered off, looking down at your intertwined hands.

"Because...."

"Because I would have gotten jealous, there!" he yelled out, but soon after he buried his face into his knees. Unconsciously, you ran your hand through his hair.

"You? Kim Namjoon? Jealous?"

"Yes, okay. I don't like to admit my weaknesses but I find it annoying when you're talking to one of the boys, even though most of the are taken and Yoongi is practically gay for Jimin. Hoseok is a bigger competition since he's your first love."

"What makes you think I even like you?" you teased.

He chuckled and playfully nudge your side. "Don't think I didn't hear you confessing to me at the vet. And that kiss was way too good if you didn't like me."

"Only fools fall for you." you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder. "And I guess I'm the biggest fool there is. I'm glad you thought it was good. It was my first."

"You're about to have your second." The last thing you saw was his smile as his lips locked in on yours once again. You could get used to this feeling.