The Story Of Our Lives.

24. Living a lie.

Bellamy's head was spinning. Roan was staring at him like he'd grown a second head and Clarke was clueless. If Gina was telling the truth, and he was going to be a father, Bellamy needed to figure out a way to tell Clarke without breaking her heart. All this had happened because he'd been angry and hadn't thought about what he was doing.

"You're kidding right? This is a joke?" Roan said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I wish it was." Bellamy sighed.

"What are you gonna tell Clarke? You can't keep this from her!" Roan hissed.

"What am I supposed to say? 'Oh Hey Clarke remember that time I got mad at you and slept with my ex girlfriend? Well now she's having my kid!'" Bellamy said in a mock cheerful voice.

Roan ran his hand down his face. He was torn between defending his sister and beating the crap out of Bellamy, and sticking by his best friend.

"Look, whatever happens, you got yourself into this mess Bellamy. The longer you avoid telling Clarke, the worse it's going to be." Roan said.

"I know!" Bellamy exclaimed. "I know and I don't know how to tell her that I screwed up big time! She's never going to speak to me again after this!"

"Just tell her the truth." Roan sighed.

Bellamy dropped his head onto the table with a thud.

"I can't tell her now. Octavia's wedding party is tonight. She's getting married in two weeks. If I tell Clarke now, it's going to mess everything up." Bellamy shook his head.

"Okay, I see your point. But say you don't tell Clarke, and she finds out on her own? Don't you think she's going to take it worse than if it came from you?" Roan said skeptically.

"She won't find out." Bellamy said determinedly. "You can't tell her. Please!"

"I won't. But if she finds out, you're on your own." Roan pointed at him.

Bellamy let his head drop onto the table again with a loud groan. Roan stood quietly and watched him. Things were finally starting look up for his sister and best friend, and now this happens.

Clarke returned to the kitchen to find her brother and her boyfriend still sat in silence. Roan looked deeply perplexed and Bellamy looked like he'd just found out the worst news of his life.

"What's going on with you guys?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing." Bellamy replied quickly, his head shooting up.

"Really? Because you're acting really strange." Clarke said cautiously.

"Everything's fine, honestly." Bellamy smiled.

"Work stuff." Roan piped up. He wasn't sure why he was helping Bellamy lie to Clarke. But he didn't want to be there when Clarke figured out the truth.

"You guys work too hard for that idiot, he just treats you like crap." Clarke shook her head.

"Don't I know it." Roan rolled his eyes.

"Well, I said I'd go and help Raven pick out an outfit for tonight so I'll see you guys later." Clarke smiled. She kissed Bellamy's cheek and gave Roan a quick hug.

"You coming back here before the party or going straight from Ravens?" Bellamy asked.

"I'll come back here first. I won't be long." Clarke smiled. She kissed him again before leaving the two men alone once more.

"Dude. You gotta tell her." Roan sighed.

"I know. I'll do it tonight, she needs to know." Bellamy nodded. He felt sick knowing he could fool Clarke so easily, but he was terrified of how she would react when she did find out the truth. She would hate him.

~~~~

Later that evening, Bellamy sat on the edge of Clarke's bed, waiting for her to come home. They were due to be at Octavia's party in one hour. Bellamy knew if he didn't tell Clarke tonight, he'd never find the courage to do it. He heard the front door open and straightened his tie, swallowing hard.

"Hey, you look great." Clarke beamed as she walked into the room.

"Thanks." Bellamy attempted a smile.

"I'll just get dressed and then I'm ready! I did my make up at Ravens." Clarke said, heading for her closet.

Bellamy nodded his head and watched as Clarke pulled out a navy blue knee length dress. It was strapless and had lace detail on the top half of the dress. She stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the dress. Bellamy let his eyes roam her body. He wasn't sure he'd ever get to see it again after his news.

"Zip me up?" Clarke's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Bellamy stepped forward and slowly pulled the zip up her back. His fingers brushed against her bare shoulder and he leant forward to plant a kiss on her skin. Clarke shivered slightly at the feel of his lips on her skin and smiled. She turned in his arms and joined her hands at the back of his neck.

"What are you smiling at?" Bellamy asked with a small smile.

"I'm just so happy. I have a great job, amazing friends, wonderful family, and the man of my dreams. What's not to smile about?" Clarke chuckled.

Bellamy thought he might throw up there and then. His heart raced even faster and he felt his throat close. He couldn't form any words, so instead, he pressed his lips firmly to hers. When Clarke pulled away, she backed away and pulled on her shoes.

"Let's party." Clarke grinned, turning towards the door.

"Clarke Wait!" Bellamy grabbed her hand.

"What? What's wrong?" Clarke asked nervously.

Bellamy froze. Just say it! Get it over with! The voice inside his head screamed at him. But as he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He couldn't do it. He couldn't ruin her happiness, tonight of all nights. He shook his head.

"You look amazing." Bellamy smiled.

Clarke's smile grew again and she let out a small giggle. "Don't do that to me, I thought you were gonna tell me some bad news or something!"

"Sorry. Just wanted to say it before we left and I lose you." Bellamy shrugged.

"You lose me?" Clarke raised a brow.

"You know, to Raven and my sister." Bellamy chuckled. Pull it together man!

Clarke rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse. "Come on, we're gonna be late!"

Bellamy shook his head and followed her out the door. How could he be such a coward?! This secret was eating him alive and he knew Clarke needed to know, but every time he tried to tell her, he couldn't do it.

~~~~

Clarke and Bellamy arrived at the party to find most guests had already arrived. Octavia spotted them enter the house from where she stood talking with Lincoln and Roan. She waved them over excitedly and Roan sent Bellamy a questioning look.

Bellamy responded with a small shake of his head. Roan let out a sigh, knowing Bellamy hadn't told Clarke yet.

"There you are! Come on, let's get a drink!" Octavia cheered, pulling Clarke into the kitchen.

Clarke followed Octavia with a giggle and the girls headed off. Roan slid up to Bellamy while Lincoln spoke to a member of his family.

"Why haven't you told her?" Roan said quietly.

"I tried. I couldn't do it." Bellamy sighed.

"Bellamy! You need to tell her!" Roan hissed.

"I know! I know alright. I just, I work up the courage to tell her and she looks at me with that smile and I just can't do it. I can't break her heart." Bellamy shook his head sadly.

He was well and truly screwed. He didn't want to lie to Clarke, but he didn't want to lose her either.