Bangtan's Crimson Princesses | BTS AU/FF ✓

Chapter 34

Chapter 34: In Our Hearts

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I firmly held the bouquets of flowers in my hands as I kept in pace with my brother, keeping the delicate them in their natural shape. The sweet aroma graced my nose as they were two huge bouquets filled with a variety of flower species and colours. I wanted to get my parents some nice flowers, this is my first time seeing them since the murders. To be honest, I have been trying to track down their resting places, but have been unsuccessful. I asked Namjoon about this, and he told me that he requested to keep their gravestones on paper instead of in a computer system; he wanted them to rest in peace, which I completely understand. He made the right call, our parents were a huge deal in the mafia world, there are most likely those who can’t let go of a grudge, even after death. No doubt would those people try to defile their graves out of spite.

The cemetery air was calm and still, you could hear a pin drop against the stone walkways. Of course, there was also the soft and gentle chirping of songbirds sitting in the trees above our heads. The small animals brought a calming element to the already serene cemetery, it was much needed. Their soft and harmonious melodies danced from their beaks, encouraging those who walked through the resting place of the departed to relax.

When Namjoon came to see me first thing in the morning, the first thing he did was ask how I was doing. He has been cooped up in his office, looking over the Draco data compiled by the tech team. I couldn’t begin to imagine how many stacks of papers were on his desk and scattered around his office. My brother must be so exhausted, visiting our parents must be an escape for him. I was surprised when he suggested taking transit to Ilsan, but I was instantly reminded of our school days. When we were still in school, we always took the train together to travel around if our parents were out working. We always sat together and talked about anything and everything- I’m not going to lie, we had and still have a strong relationship with each other. I could only assume he wanted to relive the days where we were still innocents without the burdens of a mafia. It was nice to spend some time together.

However, I will not ever forget what happened almost a week ago.

Taehyung and I were still in bed, cuddling against each other and slowly easing into the new day. It was honestly a nice feeling and sight to wake up to his gentle smile and sparkling eyes, not to mention his warm and loving embrace. I absolutely fell in love with the man known as Kim Taehyung, nothing will ever change that. He is such a sweetheart and angel, not to mention the fact that he cares deeply about his loved ones. I have many requirements when finding the perfect man, and Taehyung, well, he fit every single thing I was looking for. Taehyung is absolutely perfect, I just hope Namjoon doesn’t… I can’t even find the heart to think about it.

Unfortunately, Namjoon caught us while we were sharing a couple pecks, not kisses mind you. To say he was angry was a bit of an understatement, he was absolutely livid, so much so that steam was blowing out of his ears and nose, and his face was bright red. He literally dragged me to his bedroom, ordering Taehyung to stay in his room until he came back. Those very words sent me into a full blown panic attack. That in itself was very, very bad, the last one I had was almost two years ago. I collapsed the moment Namjoon slammed the door behind him. He didn’t even have enough time to interrogate me.

By the time I had woken up, he already spoke to Taehyung, I’ll be it in a non-aggressive manner. They talked things out, what was going to happen to Taehyung and I. Of course, things were going to be finalized until I had my say, and heard Namjoon’s reasoning about why he got so angry in the first.

Namjoon was afraid that I wouldn’t need him anymore if I found someone to love.  

I couldn’t help but cry at that moment, how could he think such a thing? Namjoon is the only one I have left with my blood, out of all the people in the mansion, he’s the person that I’ve known for my entire life. No matter what, I’ll always need him because he’s always been there for me. Namjoon is my big brother, someone who loves me and would do anything to protect me, nothing will ever change that. I promised him that no matter what, I will always need him, even if Taehyung and I start dating. He is my sweet older brother, he is one of the many important people in my life.

“Over here Sae-Young,” Namjoon called softly.

Nodding, I quickly caught up to him after realizing that I was falling behind. Namjoon led me to an isolated area, hidden by a thick wall of foliage. My brother slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it in reassurance. I returned the gesture, and remained glued to his side; he draped his arm across my shoulders and kept me close as we reached their resting place. Omma's and Appa's headstones came into view. Namjoon fulfilled their wishes and laid them to rest beside each other. Beautiful, black marble headstones with golden engravings marked their graves, their names, Kim MinHyuk and Kim JiHyun carved with delicate calligraphy.

Tears stung my eyes as I laid a bouquet on our mom's graves, while Namjoon did the same to our dad. My brother pulled me into his arms, gently pushing my face into his chest. I knew it was going to be hard seeing them after so long, but I didn't think it would hit me like a truck.

“Shh…” Namjoon cooed, rocking me back and forth.

I continued to cry into his shirt, wailing and weeping like a baby. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control my flowing emotions of sorrow, grief and guilt. Our parents were resting right in front of us, but I still miss them so much. I just want to be able to give them one last hug and tell them I love them too. Namjoon tightened his hold around me, rubbing my back in a comforting manner.

“Omma and Appa are watching over us,” he whispered, holding back his own tears. “They're always with us and in our hearts.”
“I know Joon…” my voice cracked. “I-I just miss them so much…”
“Me too baby girl,” Namjoon whimpered. “I just wished that I could have made it in time to save you and them.”

Namjoon cupped my cheeks with warm hands. Ever so gently, he wiped my tears with his thumbs and pecked my forehead.

“But as I promised Omma and Appa, I'm going to protect you no matter what.”

I nodded against his hands, still letting my tears fall. Namjoon and I stayed like that for who knows how long, but I didn't care- I finally got to see our parents after so many years. They are always watching over us, and no matter what, I feel them in my heart, encouraging me to face the next day with my chin up.