BEHIND THE HATE, US • Elounor •

10 ⊱ Roots

CHAPTER X

ROOTS

Louis' POV

I belong to a band called One Direction but my life has lost its direction... what an irony, right?

Our tour had finished a few weeks ago, so they boys and I were back on our homes. I went back to Doncaster again for a while, sharing time and having fun with my family... or at least I tried. I had thought that going back to my own place would change my mood, but that never happened. My girlfriend was missing in action; was she still my girlfriend? Nobody knew for sure.

The last time we had talked was when I saved her from that massive crowd in the mid of a London street. We had had a heated conversation in my hotel room in which she stated she had changed. It was a surprise. I never imagined El could do something like that, but very deep inside my heart, I was glad she'd done that.

If something was clear, was the she had become a stronger person. Was I happy about that? Of course I was. But I also felt miserable because I knew she was forced to change due to our relationship. Maybe I had pushed her to the limit. Let's admit it: I hadn't been the best boyfriend. Okay, my bad.

But was my fault entirely? Obviously not. Whenever El's name crossed my mind lately, it was followed by Ian's name. Exactly. It was a horrible feeling but with time I had understood that it was a mistake. A huge mistake that led in this... break up? Fight? Good bye? My heart ached when I considered that possibility. Eleanor had become my air a long time ago. My body needed her as much as my mind.

Now that I didn't have her by my side, was I able to survive? I think I knew the answer...

"Louis, c'mon! I need to use the bathroom!" Lottie's voice sounded far away but I knew she was behind the door.

"Lou, I want to go in too, please!" Fizzy this time, begging.

Okay, I gave up. I stared at my face in the mirror for a last time just to convince myself that I was dead in life. My hair was a mess, my lips were dried, dark circles had appeared on my face and my eyes... something about them was different. I was a lost case.

"Fine, go in." I said opening the door walking really slowly towards the kitchen. I looked like a prisoner carrying a ball and chain.

"Good morning Lou. How did you sleep?" My mum's daily attempts for making me feel better were in vain.

"Who says I slept?"

"Nightmares again?"

"That damn dream where El's figure vanishes... it's killing me."

"Louis, I know what you're going through but don't torture yourself with those awful thoughts."

"Morning family!" A man's voice made me jump out of my chair.

"Dan!! Why would you even..." I said going back to my place.

"What's wrong with you Tommo? Are you okay?" He said patting my shoulder.

"Look at my face and you tell me." I said raising my gaze.

"Honey! Your beautiful face! What happened?!" My mum ran to me and grabbed my head in his hands. "Your eyes are... I don't know but they look strange."