The Red Lounge

Chapter 46

"In love with you?" Pia repeated, trying to holdback a laugh. "I dont think he is but I also wouldn't be surprised. I did use to joke with you about juggling two guys."

"True, but Xavier and I were never an item. We hung out and enjoyed each others company but it wasn't romantic. There was no passion, not like what Elijah and I have with each other ."

Pia took a small sip from her tea. "Talk to him. Hes always been pretty open about his feelings."

I wrapped my arms around my legs and sighed deeply. "I'm scared. What if he tells me something I'm not ready to hear and it messes up our friendship?"

"Sometimes, you just need to take the plunge."

I pulled my phone out and pouted my lip. "He didnt even want to talk to me after class."

My phone began to vibrate in my hand and Xavier's name popped up on the screen.

Pia peeked over and smirked. "Looks like he's ready to talk now."

I placed the phone to my ear which Pia was annoyed about, but ignored her. "Hey X, what's up?"

"Mo, I really need to talk to you about some stuff. Are you free right now? Or are you with Elijah?"

"I'm at my apartment."

"Okay, I'll be there in 15."

I placed the phone back into the palm of my hands. "Well, he is on his way."

"I'm so glad I came home early," she mused like a high school girl wanting to know the latest drama.

Pia and I spent the remaining time that we had left by acting out different scenarios. She wanted me to be prepared and be able to explain myself without hurting his feelings. I wasnt able to absorb much since I was nervous. I just had to follow Elijah's simple advice: tread carefully and don't lead him on.

Xavier texted me that he was downstairs so I waved Pia goodbye and made my way to the parking lot. He was seated in his car, unlike his usual leaning against his car. I slipped into the passenger seat and gave him a weak smile.

"I was thinking that we can just listen to some music until we get to the destination?"

"Uh sure," I said, awkwardly.

It had to be one of the most painful rides I've had with Xavier. Even with the chill indie music playing, the silence between us was so thick and tense. It almost made me unable to breath. I opened the window a little bit and was thankful for the cold breeze that would hit my face on occasion.

Forty minutes later and we arrived to the countryside of Maryland. There were acres of green land, old oak trees, corn fields, cattle farms, and more. The smell wasn't too pleasant but the beauty of it all made it worth it.

He drove into a disheveled farmhouse and got out of the car. It was clear that the farmhouse had been abandoned which made me wonder how he know about this place.

"This is the perfect place to murder someone," I joked nervously and got out of the car.

"That never came to mind," he responded. "I grew up around here during the summer. I'd always come down here to my grandparents since they had a farm. This used to be theirs but they upgraded and left this place."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

He walked around the old shed and touched certain spots. "Its fine. As long as it's still standing than its okay. Anyway, follow me." He went around the back and climbed up an old wooden ladder that seemed questionable in its durability.

"I feel like it's going to break and I'm going to die," I whined as I carefully climbed up it.

"You'll be okay, Mo," he said, reaching over and offering his hand. I grabbed onto it and he pulled me up.

We were on top of the farm house. The roof was flat so we were able to walk on it without the worrying of falling off but I was still worried about following through it. Xavier assured me many times that it was safe so I decided to trust him.

"Isnt it beautiful?" He cooed as he sat down and stared at the colorful evening sky. The sky resembled a painting with strokes of navy blue, orange, pink, and yellow. There was also an enormous tree in the distance that added the perfect touch to the view.

"Yeah, wow... you dont see stuff like this in DC." I stood up and gazed at the sky.

Xavier stood next to me and soaked in the sight. "Right?"

I looked my shoulder to watch him but he was staring at me. "I wanted to talk to you, Mo."

"Okay. What's up?" My heart was beating so fast and hard that I believed it would've busted out of my chest.

"I wanted to explain my mindset last night. I got pretty damn drunk and I finally understood now why I went over your house."

"X, do you like me? Like, more than friends?"

He opened his mouth as if he was going to talk, but just exhaled and lowered his shoulders. "Yes, which I know I shouldnt considering that Elijah is in the picture and mostly will stay in it...right?"

I nodded slowly and he looked even more disappointed.

"A few times a month, my mom calls and talks to me. She wants to see how college is going and to see how I'm doing. She called last night and at some point she asks if I'm seeing anybody. You were the first girl to come to mind and I replied 'yes'. She got so happy and I really wanted to punch myself at that moment. She was saying that she hopes to see you at Thanksgiving and all that. We stopped talking and I realized how badly I've fucked up, not just lying to my mom but for falling for you knowing that you had a man. That's why I got so drunk." He looked down and stared kicking the ground. "I'm so stupid."

"No, you're not X. I'm really sorry." I leaned over and placed my hand on his back. "I know that before Elijah came along we were really good friends and possibly on the path to more. I'm sorry for it all changing so fast. Maybe I did lead you on? I dont know." I sighed deeply and shook my head. "I'm stupid too."

"I was really hurt to see you with him when we were spending so much time together. I dont blame you though, Elijah is a great guy. He cares about you and the way he helped me out today showed that he knows your friends are important to you. Hes a catch and I cant compete with that."

"Xavier, I'm sorry you feel like you need to compete with him. It shouldnt be that way. I love you the way I love Pia, but I'm--"

"In love with Elijah and itll always be him, right?" He whispered in defeat.

I nodded and looked down.

"Figured. I just wanted you to know where I stand. I hope it doesnt affect us negatively but I needed to let you know. It's getting harder to hide," he chuckled.

"Okay, I understand."

"I'll move on, just like how I moved on from Priyanka Chopra."

I placed my hand on his shoulder again, squeezed it and started to laugh. "You're ridiculous."

He smiled weakly. "Yeah, I know."

Elijah was right. I really had to tread carefully or I might be losing one of my closest friends.