university | lrh

32 - make me

Luke Hemmings
————

If there's one thing that I can be certain of, it's that I'm losing my goddamn mind.

In fact, it's so far gone you might as well call it the lip ring I took out two years ago, because the chances of me finding either of them are slim to none.

The harsh reality is that I came this close to saying something to Elise that I'm not entirely sure she's ready to hear. Or, maybe I'm just not ready to hear the opposite of what I almost said.

Almost. I almost said it.

But 'almost' means nothing, because I didn't say it, and Elise isn't a mind reader.

The scary part is, I hadn't even second guessed it when the thought crawled its way into my brain. For lack of a better term, it seemed right, and it's still undoubtedly the truth. And although Elise didn't seem to pick up on my slip up, there's absolutely no way she couldn't feel how fast my heart was beating when she slid her hands down my chest, and that terrified me, because I wanted nothing more than to tell her why.

But I'm selfish, and maybe a little bit of a coward, so I kept it to myself, just waiting for the right moment to let it out. I want to tell her, I do, but only when I'm sure she's ready to hear it.

And when I think she might want to say it back.

The tricky thing is, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Every time I see her, even days later, my chest aches and my throat feels tight from pushing the words down.

But something happened, the other day, that made me question whether or not I was an idiot for not saying it sooner. It was our routine, a typical day of classes followed by Elise staying long past the end of my lecture. Which, taken in its simplest form, is quite innocent, considering she is my student and I did offer her extra help. But, I'd be lying if I said my intentions in offering that help weren't anything but pure, and our work in that room could hardly be considered academic.

It started when I left the room to take a phone call, only to groan upon my return seeing as Elise decided to perch herself on my desk, laid on her stomach with her legs kicked up and her chin in her palms. The smile she sent me when I closed the door made me feel warm, but the way she bit her lip after had my mind running wild, which is why I felt the need to lock the door.

"Comfy, are we?" I tilted my head, running my tongue over my bottom lip as I made my way over to her.

She let out a huff, cheeks puffing out as she sunk them further into her palms. "Bored, actually."

I raised an eyebrow, crouching down to reach her eye level from her position on the desk. "And what should I do about that?"

She grinned. "Entertain me."

A simple enough request, but it didn't stop my mind from conjuring up ideas to keep every part of her occupied.

Oh I can entertain you, alright. I can entertain you right on this desk—

"Your desk is weirdly comfortable," Elise furrowed her brows, snapping me out of my daydreams of bending the girl over it. "I might just fall asleep."

I raised an eyebrow. "You have work you're supposed to be doing."

She grinned, raising a brow of her own. "Yeah? And who's gonna make me?"

Does she think this is a game? She's going to lose.

I stood up, standing rather tall over her with my arms crossed over my chest. "Awfully brave of you to say when your Professor is right here."

She sat up at this, legs dangling off the edge of the desk and a sheepish grin masked by her teeth biting down on her lower lip. "Sorry, Mr. Hemmings, I just don't think you have it in you anymore."