if only | ha yoonbin

7

Dain's POV

I sat on my armchair as I spun around with my phone in my hand. My friend just posted the pictures of the performance yesterday and my heart literally stopped when I saw him.

I furrowed my brows, seeing there's a tagged person in that picture.

I clicked onto the picture once and my eyes widened, realising that his name is there. It's really shocking because he blocked me after-all.

I clicked onto his account and I realised he've unblocked me. A smile crept up on my face, not realising my face has heated up.

" Why is your face so red? " My brother asked as he walked into the room with a book in his hand. I ignored him.

He chuckled, " Let me guess, the guy that you're always talking about? " I kicked his shin and he winced in pain.

He left the room and I was there trying to calm myself down.

" Areum! Areum! Yoonbin unblocked me! " I screamed over the phone and I could hear her usual sigh from the other side but suddenly she went,

" Huh? What? He unblocked? " I nodded even though she can't see.

She burst into laughter, " I can't believe that guy. He's so petty to block you just because I said, I like you on your behalf. " She shook her head.

" I mean yeah sure he might not want to give you hope but seriously, blocking someone because of confession is just rude. He could use another method. " She said.

I mean I got to agree with her but at the same time I see where Yoonbin is coming from.

I shrugged it off, " Anyways, yeah that's all. " She chuckled as we bid goodbye over the phone.

Yep.

A few months passed and it's the time of the year again. It's what we called Inter-house game where the colours of their PE outfit is different and they will be competing against each other.

I'm in red and well, the people in red are pretty competitive and cares a lot about sports while I don't really care much.

I just feel like having fun is the key so I don't really see the need to be so overly competitive.

Since i'm pretty unfit, I chose to just sit at a corner. It gets me really pissed off when people assume that you play sports well just because you're tall.

I'm pretty average or slightly above average and people literally assumes that because of that, I should be a really good athlete which literally makes me wonder why?

" Hey, You're up. " I furrowed my brows as I walked to the middle of the court when i'm forced to be the defender which literally means what it mean.

A little back story is that I literally can't do sports so I can't jump because i'm too socially awkward and stiff, and I also can't catch well.

I was a little hesitant as I walked over to the defender area. I might be taller than others but my abilities are weaker than others.

When the game started, everyone became like a bunch of hungry, desperate lions trying to find a god damn prey.

They ran over to me and I managed to block the ball but someone hit my friend in the face by accident so I immediately tried asking if she's okay but well, never be distracted during a game.

The opposing team won the game.

I looked over at the side and saw Yoonbin watching the game since it was his break. I gulped, trying to play as good as I could. I just wanted him to see the best side of me.

After a while, he walked off and I thank god.

The game continued and when it ended, I was tired to the core. I didn't do much and I can't defend well, causing the team to lose quite a number of points which i'm apologetic about.

Hana and Eunchae dragged me to the basketball court to see Yoonbin's game. He dribbled the ball cooly as he smirked before shooting the ball into the hoop.

Well it didn't get in.

It rebounded and the other team managed to get the ball. He tried again and again and again.

Basketball is literally the only match that I enjoy watching and enjoy playing as well. " Dain! " Hana screamed when the ball was about to hit me when I blocked my face which coincidentally hits the ball back into the court.

After a while of watching, I got to leave. " Oh well, bye. " I bid Hana goodbye before I walk back to the game area.

I decide to sit out for the rest of the game since I couldn't do much for the team and I felt that it would also be a better chance for others.

Soon, all of us have to gather in the hall for the prize presentation. When they called the basket-ballers, I saw Yoonbin walking up with his gummy smile.

His smile faded really quickly though.

When it was my turn, I felt really bad taking the trophy when I only played a game. I walked up, got the trophy, put on a slight smile before going back down.

Looking around, I could see the smiles on people's faces as their body are covered in sweat. It made me see the positive side of sports but yet, I'd always feel bad that I can't help much.

In my daily life, i'm more of a clumsy person so I tend to be a mess most of the time.

Actually through this, I felt really bad about myself because I can't do anything for the team and also, I felt like Yoonbin is so good while I'm not.

It made me feel really self conscious and I didn't dare to participate in such sports events anymore.

I saw Yoonbin standing by the table while others around him were taking pictures while he was just scrolling through his phone, being anti-social.

A sigh escaped my mouth.

I'm really not good enough.

I'm really a black horse.

I really-

" Enjoying the view? "

17th Jan 2019

to be very honest with you guys, it's really tough for me to write this chapter because I had a flashback about what happened during that actual sports event.

It was the time where I felt so bad about myself for not being up to other's standards of me and no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to show others that I did try and I did do my best.

What about you guys? Please know that you're not alone and you don't suck!!