if only | ha yoonbin

27

Dain's POV

Okay. Today I wasn't as late, i'm earlier by like a few minutes but hey it's better than being late right?

I walked into the hall and sat down, just thinking about how life sucks for me. I'm gonna have oral exam today and communication is what i'm best at but it's pretty stressful.

We took our national anthem and pledge. We sat down and that was when I saw a familiar figure on the stage with the basketball dude.

Apparently it's was his speech today and when he started talking, my eyes diverted to the girl who confessed to him.

Somehow, our reactions are so god damn different. I was just having my usual straight face while she on the other hand was smiling like mad.

He finished his speech and I clapped like I did for everyone who did a speech. Somehow I thought trying to be normal is going to help prevent people from realising.

We were dismissed and when I stood up, he was there. I walked passed him, acting as if i'm all okay but as usual, i'm dying on the inside with a mask on my face.

We got back to class and everything went okay. These days, he would often ask his friend who's sitting at the front of the row for help because he's like a genius in that subject.

He walked passed me and all the god damn time i tried acting like i'm fine but in actual fact, i'm not.

I kept forcing myself to show that I like him but every single time I have the opportunity, I would back out and remain that straight face.

My teachers and friends kept asking if i'm okay because I have RBF and like, well it just repels people from me.

Whenever i'm in school alone, I would always be really quiet so it gives off a snob kinda vibe.

During Language, I sat at the front as usual. I could sense the girl that likes him somehow noticed me staring at him. yes i was trying to let him know that I do still god damn like you, you leaf.

I turned to look at her cause I could feel her stare. She looked away almost immediately, whispering something to her friend.

I looked away and continued chatting with Eun.

So after school came and I have oral examination which test on your communication skills. So basically initially I thought it would mean i'm sitting near to Yoonbin since we were like the groups that are next to each other and he's the fourth and i'm the third.

No.

No.

I'm wrong.

" Dain! Han Dain! Where are you? " My teacher screamed in front of everyone and I raised my hand slightly. Someone took my oral materials so I was trying to find it.

When I finally got it back I was like thanking god.

I was supposed to be third but somehow i'm late and I became the fourth. I thought, okay it might not be that bad and I was walking back and forth like a lost duck.

" You sit here. " My friend whispered to me as she pointed at an empty seat. I walked over and I nearly choked to my next life.

I.

Was.

Sitting.

Behind.

Yoonbin.

I wanted to kill myself.

You know when you're really nervous you just became so clumsy? My table was literally sticking to his chair because of the arrangement and because of that, my leg was stuck between the chair and table legs.

I managed to sit down without much problem.

I turned around to rehearse with the girl behind me and every time I look up, the girl who likes him would be staring at my direction, probably at Yoonbin.

I ignored the both of them and just did my revision with my friend. " Forth row, stand and go for your exam. " We stood up and walked off.

Apparently, yes I am indeed in the same column as him for the exam. I sat on the chair for oral and there's a huge gap between everyone.

The moment I flipped over the passage, I was panicking. I stared to move about.

When it's over. I walked over to the teacher and she smiled at me. " Hello Dain, you're so pleasant looking. " My jaw dropped.

Everyone told me I look cold but no one told me I look pleasant before. I started the exam and I managed to answer the questions without much problem.

She gave me advice and she even told me I can look for her whenever I need help even though I'm not from her class.

During the exam, we were having our own casual conversation as well and because of that, I managed to be less stress.

I saw Yoonbin walking past and apparently Yoonbin's tester is my choir teacher. Thank god the other time, she wasn't the one that found out I like him.

After i'm done, I went out with my bag and I got to the canteen where I saw Hana and Eunchae sitting on the table.

I also saw Yoonbin. " Sit down. " Eunchae and Hana said in unison. There's an app called soul and Eunchae uses it. I used it for a few days but deleted it.

" Hi this this macdonald, do you want to order? " I asked when Eunchae called some random guy.

He chuckled, " I just ate. "

" You can eat again. " He laughed awkwardly before asking if he can hang up and I was like sure so that call ended.

She called again and this time I pretend as if I was crying. " Don't go grandpa. " I said and he was shook man.

" Don't cry! " I held in my laughter and said the same line again. Eunchae told him it was all a joke and he started laughing.

" Did I act well? " I asked laughing again.

" Yes, I got tricked. " He said and honestly I didn't know if he was serious or he was just kidding but oh well, it did end off the school day with laughter.

Oh, it's Hana's birthday and I made a birthday post for her. Posting quality contents which are top notched. She wanted to slaughter me though.

Since i'm really cold, in terms of jokes, they were telling me to stop being so lame. I tapped them, " I just wanna tell you guys, if I were to release all my jokes at once, it would be a cold war. "

They nearly killed me.

I smiled seeing them judging me so badly along with the two other guys who are part of our squad.

I can't believe i'm part of this group.

Never have I ever thought I would be friends with them.

30th April 2019

happy birthday hana!!