if only | ha yoonbin

16

Dain's POV

" Get up! " My helper pulled me up from the bed but I lied back down once again. I'm a really deep sleeper so sleeping through alarm is my daily routine.

I turned facing the side, getting into a comfortable position. " It's 7AM! " She screamed at me and I sat up almost immediately.

I took my phone and my eyes shot wide opened. I jumped out of the bed and ran into the bathroom where I got ready within less than 5 minutes.

I put on my uniform, tied my hair while drinking my honey drink. I put on my socks and I grabbed my bag, running out of my house.

A sigh escaped my mouth as I waited impatiently for the lift to arrive. The thing about the place that i'm living is that the lift takes ages to arrive especially during peak hours.

After waiting for about 5 minutes, the lift finally arrived. When I got off the lift, I looked over at my phone and I started fearing.

7:25AM.

My school starts at 7:30AM, when you're late the second time, you'll have to serve detention. I speed walked to school and when I entered the gate, the bell rang.

I walked over to the hall where everyone gathered at and I'm considered late since I have to be there on spot in order not to be late.

I walked into the hall and everyone sitting at the back turned to look at me.

Awkward silence.

I walked over to my class area and I placed my bag down. When I sat down, I placed all my things into my bag and that's when it hits me.

Guess who sat beside Yoonbin again?

Honestly half of me was nervous but the other half didn't care. I didn't really bother about him until something that he did.

He started talking a lot to Hyunsuk who sat just in front of him.

" There. " Yoonbin told the confused Hyunsuk who looked around in confusion. Yoonbin then used his head to point towards me.

Hyunsuk turned to face me, " Oh. " He said before turning to the front again.

Things started becoming weirder these days.

When Language class came, we sat in the same row. Miss Park told me to collect all the worksheets from my row but somehow, Hyunsuk and Yoonbin just told Hana to pass it to me instead.

Geez, my overthinking mind tells me that they might actually have something against me.

Since we're also in the same class for another subject, it's really weird. Sometimes we would have sudden eye contact.

" Today we will be combining class with that class. " Jiae said as she pointed at the class opposite us which is Yoonbin's class.

I furrowed my brows as I grabbed my things and walked there with Jiae and Hana. When we entered the classroom, we got to get our own table from the class since all the tables are taken.

Yoonbin wrote something and he leaned on his chair as he turned to face us as he played with his fringe. Coincidentally I looked over at him at that moment but I turned away.

I went out of the classroom with Jiae to get our tables and when we got in, I could sense his stare once again.

I tried ignoring it and I managed to ignore it for a little while. Thank god we sat at totally opposite side or else I'll probably cry for help.

When school ended, I went to the convenient store nearby to get some drinks while my friends got some bread from the other store.

When I opened the door to the store, a gush of cold air blew against me. I went over to the drinks section where there's a huge variety of drink choices.

I was looking at the different types of drinks when the door opened. I didn't really care much since anyone could come here.

I looked over at my wallet which literally shows that I'm broke. A sigh escaped my mouth as I walked away from the drink section and the group of people who entered stopped talking when they saw me.

I ignored them and it hits me that one of the person within them is actually the girl who likes Yoonbin as well.

I got to get passed her and she was staring at me as I moved past her. After I passed by her, she turned her head to look at me.

Even during PE, since we would sometimes have the same PE lesson. I caught her looking at me several times and somehow, using a woman's sixth sense, I feel like she knows something.

I felt really uncountable, I didn't want her to know that I actually like Yoonbin as well. I don't know her well so I don't want her to find out about it since i'm not someone who's very extroverted.

It might just be my overthinking mind but I genuinely think that the fact about me liking Yoonbin is slowly spreading among his group of friends.

His friends would look at me with different gaze and somehow I just felt even more uncomfortable. Sometimes it's not about their actions but the way they look at you.

I might really be overthinking things but it's my thoughts.

There was this once where we combined classes as well for PE and just as I was about to walk to the backstage, he walked out of the backstage.

Apparently, on that day he hurt his leg and I low-key went to ask Hana more about it.

I really wish I would be less of an over thinker and more of an optimist. Maybe that way, I would love life more instead of being overly worried about how he thinks of me.

I've been repeating the same thing over and over again and you guys who's reading this might be bored to death over and over again but it's really how I feel and I want to portray the most realistic side of my story.

Today, the me writing this now also sat beside Yoonbin coincidentally. Honestly, there's definitely awkwardness between us.

Sometimes I wish I didn't sit beside him, I feel like i'm not good enough and just feel really ugly. It might sound really cliche but I think most people in general would feel this way when they're near their crushes.

I shall end this chapter here for now incase I bore you guys to death even more.

Maybe one day, One day I'll be brave enough to face him and just say a little hi without dying inside and outside.

26th Feb 2019

i'm like really sorry for not updating and just for making this a negative book again! i really really feel the need to apologize because i'm supposed to spread positivity to be frank :"

but anyways, i'm having my choir audition next tuesday for a position in the performance team this year!! wish me luck!! :"))