Rural

Chapter 9: Look, Mom. I'm Going to War With a Cat.

Chapter 9: Look, Mom. I'm Going to War With a Cat.

       School was starting to become very tiresome for me. It was taking a lot out of me just to concentrate because my mind was wandering too much. I had way too much I was constantly thinking about.

       I was really hoping this would all pass soon. The last thing I needed was to develop feelings for Sawyer. I really didn't want to ruin our friendship. I was happy the way things were. It didn't have to change.

       I didn't want it to change.

       Lulu was starting to catch on to it. I mean, she already did. She just hasn't really been pushy about it until recently when it was starting to get really obvious for her that I couldn't keep constantly denying it.

       "You know, there's nothing wrong with liking him," Lulu said as she was putting her notebooks into her locker despite having homework. She said she wasn't in the mood to do her homework tonight so she wasn't going to bother taking it home.

       If only I was that brave. I definitely couldn't risk not doing my homework after all the class time I spent not paying attention.

       "There is something wrong with it," I said.

       Lulu sighed. "Jamie, it's never wrong to like someone."

       "I can think of a lot of reasons why it's long to like someone," I said. "If someone is a serial killer or a puppy killer or a carnivore or..."

       "Seriously?" Lulu interrupted. "All of those having nothing to do with Sawyer. He's one of the sweetest people ever. You can literally go up to a random person in town and ask what they think about Sawyer Birch and they'll say that he's the sweetest person ever."

       "I know he is," I said. "But just because he's sweet, it doesn't mean I should like him. Or that I want to like him. I really don't."

       "Can you at least tell me why so I can stop bugging you about it?" Lulu asked. "Because I think you two will be a really nice couple."

       I hesitated, not knowing if I should go into depth about why I didn't want to like Sawyer. Of course there was more to it than just me not wanting to ruin our friendship. Maybe if it was just the friendship issue, I would have risked it. 

       That was only a small factor, though. A very small one compared to the other reasons.

       When I didn't answer, Lulu closed her locker and looked at me. "It's that serious?" she asked.

       "A bit, yeah," I said. "Just... trust me on this. It's probably best for me to just stay friends with him right now. Or forever."

       "You said probably," Lulu said. "There's some doubt there."

       I sighed heavily. "Of course there are doubts, Lulu. It's not just an easy and set decision I can make, especially with all the factors weighing in."

       "I know you probably don't want to talk about it but can you give me some sort of hint?" Lulu asked. 

       I hesitated again, trying to debate if I should give her a hint or not. I didn't mind her knowing. She was my friend after all. It was just hard to actually talk about.

       Then again, Lulu only asked for some sort of hint. I could do that. Make it as simplified and vague as I could without getting into detail.

       "Well..." I said slowly. "Let's just say that I went through something close to  what Sawyer did."

       Lulu furrowed her eyebrows, trying to figure out exactly what I meant. When she did, her look softened. "You mean a nasty break up." She didn't even have to ask the question. She knew that was what I was talking about.