Rural

Chapter 32: I'm Not One to Brag But I am Pretty Amazing, Aren't I?

Chapter 32: I'm Not One to Brag But I am Pretty Amazing, Aren't I?

       It was official. I was going to ask my mom if I could be homeschooled from now on. I didn't think I could handle another second in this tortuous school. Not only did I have someone plotting my murder, I was now the biggest third-wheel in the history of third-wheels.

       I never felt like a third-wheel around Lulu and Beau. Even though they were best friends and have been almost their whole life, they never made me feel excluded.

       And now that they were officially dating, I felt like losing my lunch right now. They were just too lovey-dovey and nauseating.

       It was times like this that I wish my boyfriend didn't already graduate high school two years ago.

       Maybe I should start going home for lunch for now on.

       "Okay, I know you two are cute and everything but can you tone down the cuteness just a tiny bit?" I asked Lulu and Beau. "Or a lot? Please, a lot. I'm trying to eat my lunch here."

       Lulu's reply was to stick out her tongue at me. "You're always lovey-dovey with Sawyer. Let me be lovey-dovey with my boyfriend."

       "Uh, there's a huge flaw in that logic," I said. "Name one time where I was lovey-dovey with Sawyer in a way that made you feel like a massive third-wheel." Lulu opened her mouth to reply but I cut her off. "That camping trip doesn't count. You still had Beau so it wasn't like Sawyer and I were making you feel left out."

       Lulu glared at me. "Nobody likes a smart-ass."

       "That's not really me being a smart-ass," I said. "It's just me pointing out how flawed your logic is as to why you think it's okay for you to be all nauseating."

       "You're so annoying," Lulu said. "He's so annoying, isn't he, Beau?"

       Before Beau could even reply, I said, "I'm pretty sure he'll agree with me that you're more annoying."

       "Not true."

       "Uh, it is true. After all, he did warn me to escape this friendship while I had the chance. He wouldn't tell me that if he didn't think you were annoying."

       "He's right," Beau said to Lulu. "I love you and everything but... You are kind of annoying."

       "Wow," Lulu said. "I'm not talking to you again. Both of you. If you two both think that I'm so annoying, why don't you two date instead?"

       "Uh, because I'm straight?" Beau said.

       "And I'm very much in with the hottest guy on the planet, thank you very much," I said. "And I already have one person plotting my murder. I don't need another one, which I definitely will if I date Beau. And you scare me a lot more than Kitty."

       "Do you really think Kitty is planning your murder?" Beau asked. "I mean, she can be very annoying and bitchy but... Murderous?"

       "You should see that way she has been glaring at me ever since I won that cross-country competition," I said. "I 'took' Sawyer from her and now, I took away the cross-country championship. I'm pretty sure she's going to murder me soon."

       "I've been meaning to thank you about that," Lulu said.

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "Thank me? For...?"

       "Uh, for destroying Kitty in the cross-country competition," Lulu said. "I did tell you that I wanted someone to but I didn't know anyone who could do it. I didn't even know you could do it. So thank you, for infuriating Kitty even more. It has been hilarious seeing her lose that competition."