Not Alive

Breakdown

"I can't believe we'e actually letting this bitch come with us."

"I'm not fucking deaf ya know!"

I rolled my eyes as I walked between Dark and Tyler, Mark walking on the other side of Dark with a light smirk of amusement on his face.

"Wow, I didn't think you could smile." I jokingly remarked to Mark, the android flipping me off as I let out a laugh.

"God, I haven't actually felt this good since..." I trailed off as my thoughts drifted to Signe, her tear filled eyes burned into my memory no matter how hard I tried to forget.

"Hey, you okay?" Tyler questioned me, his kindness catching me off guard as he stopped arguing with Dark.

"Y-Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind and stuff." I lied, feeling like I was falling apart on the inside as I forced myself to take one more step and tried to ignore the doubts in my mind.

What if all of the deviants die because of you?

What if I can't be the leader everyone wants me to be?

What if I fail?

What if-

"Jack!"

I was startled out of my thoughts by Mark's voice, the male standing in front of me with his hand placed on my shoulder.

"You just...stopped, and you started staring off into the distance with an empty expression." Tyler chimed in, glancing back to look at me.

"I'm okay." I lied through gritted teeth, shaking my head to clear it as I continued walking forward.

I'll never be excepted,

I'll never free all androids,

I'll never be enough,

I'll never pull off the peaceful protest,

"Jack, talk to me."

I could feel my body shaking as I collapsed to me knees on the ground, holding my head in my hands as I fought to ignore the dark thoughts driving me insane.

"His stress level is almost to the breaking point." Dark interjected grimly, Mark and Tyler exchanging worried looks.

"Jack, just take some deep breaths." Mark instructed calmly, my vision filled with red as I struggled to relax.

"I-I can't, I can't do this." I stammered tearfully as I sat back on my heels, closing my eyes while I tore at my hair in frustration.

Signe cast you out,

Signe hates you,

And it's all

Your

Fault

Without thinking about what I was doing, I took the gun from Tyler's waistband and put the barrel to the side of my head, Dark grabbing my hand and pulling it away just in time to send the bullet flying into the air.

"Jack, this isn't you." Tyler argued with a grunt, helping Dark wrestle with me to get a hold of the gun in my hand.

"I don't know who I am! I don't know if I'm Seàn or Jack, I don't know who I want to be, and I don't know who people need me to be!" I blurted, Dark managing to pull the gun out of my grip and hand it to Mark.

"Seán is the android designed to be there for Signe, to record videos on the internet with her and keep her company. Then there's Jack, the android rebellion leader that just wants peace for everyone." I continued softly, avoiding the other's concerned gazes.

"I think you know who you need to be, you just need to get past all of the hardships and accomplish your mission." Mark soothed me, my eyes hesitantly meeting his.

"I've seen PMA tagged everywhere in LA, I know all of your followers believe in it. You just have to believe in it too." Dark spoke up encouragingly.

"But what if-"

"No no no, never go down that path. Just focus on the here and now, then go from there." Dark interrupted.

"You're right...I'm sorry." I apologized as I took a couple of deep breaths, Tyler helping me up to my feet.

I flinched as Dark slapped me in the face before pulling me into a hug, Mark looking as confused as I felt.

"That's for scaring the shit out of me." Dark reprimanded me sternly, Tyler and Mark snickering in response.

"So, what's the plan fearless leader?" Tyler prompted me, his hands clasped behind his back as he waited for my orders.

"Our numbers are small, so we are going to break through the camp in separate trucks filled with weapons and distribute them to the androids." I stated.

"I'll start loading them up." Mark offered, Dark joining him while Tyler stayed with me to make sure I was actually okay.

"Jack!"

I looked around until I saw Felix jogging towards us, his face lit up with a relieved grin as he bumped my fist.

"The hell happened to you?" Tyler prompted Felix, the Swede shrugging in response before Mark motioned for him to help load the trucks.

"So there's three camps in LA. One's downtown, one's uptown, and one's close to the plaza." Tyler informed me.

Split up?

Strike together?