Mor•phine||Ziam

Chapter 6: E•vade

Evade-
To avoided or get away from.

...

Chapter 6
January 28th 1943
Surrey, England

A door was slammed shut and there was heavy footsteps approaching the quiet sanctuary of Zayn's bunk where the boy was currently laying, boringly staring up at the grey metal bars of the top bunk above him.

"Alright, Malik." A low voice rang from his side. "What the hell is going on with you?!"

Zayn didn't even spare a glance at his bunk mate waiting for an answer beside their shared bunk with crossed arms.

"Nothing." Zayn answered emotionless. His eyes glued on the metal bars like they were the most fascinating boring things to stare at.

Harry let out a snort in disbelief. "Bullshit, mate. You've been ignoring me for five bloody days including Liam. You've ditched the entire table!" He exclaimed, going into a crouch. "What the hell happened between you and Liam on the 23rd?"

Annoyed Zayn let out a long frustrated sigh and rolled over to his side, away from the other boy's prying intentions. Just the reminder of that day had him sick to his stomach. "Nothing." He repeated, drawing the one word out longer than before.

"Zayn." Harry calmed himself. He had to remember that even though he and Zayn were still somewhat new friends he needed to give him his space. "Look everyone misses you. Niall, Finn...Liam! He's been so quiet since you randomly decided to go sit at that daft table in the back."

"You know you can trust me, mate." He added in reminder to at least get Zayn to feel a bit comfortable with sharing what was egging him .

Then without giving a single thought, Zayn rolled his whole body over towards the concerned curly haired boy and flashed him an envious look. "Why can't I be like you? Confident with my self, my sexuality...have luck with a handsome man that's the same as me. I-fuck." He flipped onto his stomach to hide the shame on his face and the tone of his voice. Really it was a shame.

Being gay wasn't something to be proud of in that time, especially if you had feelings for a fucking straight man.

Harry had a very good idea of how bad Zayn felt. Not long ago he felt the same and even now he still did in a way. He had to keep quiet about his sexuality like Zayn. If either were sought out they'd be kicked out of the Army and if worst came to worse they'd be arrested and sent to jail for it. Harry wasn't so happy about being gay. He wasn't confident in himself like Zayn thought him to be. He just chose to accept what he was because there was no point in dwelling on it all your life.

Dwelling on something you can't change about yourself isn't worth dwelling on when you can have a good life and ignore what you are; instead of being so unhappy with yourself to the point it depresses you and controls you.

"Mate." Harry let out a sigh as he placed a comforting hand on his bunkmate's back. "I'm not confident in myself nor happy with what I am. I've just chosen to accept it. It's tough I know. Being gay isn't something to be proud of but what's the point of dwelling on it? Nothing will change. It's who we are. Once you see that fact and accept it you'll find yourself a lot happier."

Zayn just made a disagreeing grunt into his pillow. None of his words of advice sounded easy to him. Yeah, it wasn't something he could change. It was a curse. How could one be happy with being cursed and accept it like it was nothing?