Stuck up : Ruel

fucking messed up

With a deep sigh I pick up my barely functioning phone and call Anna, maybe she'll want to hang out or something.

"Hey" she drags the y out, sounding extremely excited. "What's up girly pop?" I ask not bothering to try and match her excitement.

"I don't know, I'm just happy I guess" she laughs.

"Wish that was me" I pout thinking about how messed up everything got, very quickly. Like how could I let all this happen.

"Girl you needa tell me what's wrong, you can't just sit there at home, not bothering to show anyone how you feel" she lectures me.

"I know mom"

"Good" she chuckles. "But about that, something really weird happened yesterday" I tell her. "What?" she laughs making me realize I stopped.

"Matthew kept walking into my room like every fifth minute, and we ended up having a really great talk" I explain further.

"Is that good or" she says sounding unsure of what to answer exactly. "I guess it's good, to have a conversation with your brother" I laugh.

"Yeah" she agrees, with my statement. "Probably is" she ends up laughing uncontrollably. "You good?" I laugh.

"I don't know"

"Well I hope you are, cause we're going somewhere, I'll pick you up in 30 minutes" I tell her hanging up before she answer.

This way she doesn't have the ability to say no. Smart right, kinda forcing but it's whatever, that's what she signed up for, becoming friends with me.

As I look down at what I'm wearing I notice I am also very busy.

Only being dressed in a towel, from my recent bath and flip flops. Not exactly appropriate for the weather or the world.

Suddenly feeling the stress of having to hurry, I rush through my skincare routine, brushing my hair, making a messy bun, which isn't easy with wet hair.

Actually I deserve a gold medal for that.

I just pick out a very basic outfit, denim skinny jeans, no rips cause that's just a really important fact, and you know it, a forest green LEVI's hoodie and my white slip on Vans.

Then I run down the stairs like the idiot I am and trip. I quickly get up, ignoring Matthew and Chris laughing at me.

"Thanks for asking if I'm alright" I yell as I close the front door, and hurry towards me and Matthews car, no Matthew and I's car.

I quickly get in and drive safely to Anna's. Bobbing my head along to the music I make my way towards Anna's house.

When I arrive I honk three times letting her know I'm here, cause why not?

"Coming" she yells from the small patio, that's in front of her house. "Hey" I yell back, dragging the y out.

"Why the rush?" she asks once she gets to the car.

"I don't know" I shrug unlocking the car, so she can get in. "I didn't want to just sit at home and cry anymore" I shrug it off like it's no biggie.

"Madison you needa tell what the fuck happened" she cusses, Anna never cusses, like never, she's goodie two shoes, but recently she has been acting out.

"Are you alright?" I ask her, avoiding the topic, she's about to enter.

"Yeah I'm fine" she smiles. "Now what happened?" she goes back to topic, she has been my friend for too long, she knows how I roll, fuck.

"Jake kissed me" I mutter as I drive away from her house.

"And?"

"I fucking kissed back" I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. Trying to drive as smooth as possible.

"What?" she looks at me with wide eyes.

"I thought you liked Ruel"

"I do, I do" I respond faster than I got ready this morning, and I got ready quickly, like in 20 minutes, clothes, brows, perfume, socks everything you know, even the ballerina socks.

"Then why did you kiss back?" she hisses at me.

"I don't know, I'm a fucking idiot" I state as I drive a little over the speed limit. "Stop the car, you're going to get us killed" Anna says slowly.

I do as I'm told and stop at a gas station.

"Sorry" I mumble under my breath. "I'm just so frustrated with myself, like do I tell Ruel or do I act like it never happened?" I ask.

"I think you should tell him" she says looking at me with that serious look, she always gives me whenever I'm in trouble, she's like me seconds mom.

"But what if he gets mad and doesn't want to be my friend anymore?" I ask her. "Then give him time" she answers like it's the simplest thing in the world.

"It's not that simple, I really fucking like him, and because of my being the idiot I am, he'll never speak to me again" my eyes starts to tear up.

"Tell him how you feel"

"But I don't want to seem like an attention seeking hoe" I pout letting Anna dry my wet cheeks.

"You won't, but you'll seem like one if you don't tell him" she states giving me a sad smile.

"Anna-" I turn my body towards her, to look her into the eyes. "Jake and I aren't friends anymore" I then say.

"Why?" she looks at me with even wider eyes than before.

"He thinks that Ruel seems to perfect, fake, that he'll ruin our friendships and all that stuff" I tell her looking away from her.

"And we had a massive fight and he slapped me out of rage" I say the last part so fast that I barely hear it myself.

"He slapped you?" she yells.

I just keep my head down and nod. "You slapped him back right?" I just shake my head no. "Just because he slaps me, doesn't give me the right to slap him" I tell her.

"True but you should've"

"I shouldn't, he says he'll tell Ruel" I dry my eyes with my hoodie sleeve. "Then let him" Anna pouts, clearly as frustrated as I am.

"No because he'll tell Ruel some twisted version of what happened, and then Ruel will never believe what I say" I cry.

"Don't cry, if Ruel doesn't believe you, he really isn't that great" Anna points out.

"It's all just so fucking messed up" I pout, not feeling like crying and feeling frustrated anymore.

•••
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