thank you//Colby brock fanfic

{20}

zoey's pov

"stay safe colby make sure you get a ride home!" i say to colby and the boys. they're leaving me home alone while they're going to brennens for a party. i know colby doesn't like him because of me, and i felt so bad cause i ruined their friendship so i made him go. i kiss him goodbye as he leaves with corey, aron, jake and sam. but sam forgot something in his room so he's still upstairs.

i walk upstairs to start cleaning my room, then sam walks in, "hey, i'm leaving."

"okay uh have fun i guess." i say laughing. he jumps beside me in the bed.

"everything good?" he asks

"yeah. well like what do you mean everything's good?" i ask in a concerned giggle

"well are you really okay with us going to brennen's?"

"uh yeah why wouldn't i? you're his friends and i can't stop you from being friends with someone."

"well, are you honestly okay with colby going. he's been worried all day today that he shouldn't go. i was sure you'd be alright with it."

"yeah i mean it's his friend. i feel like i ruined their friendship so of course i'm okay with him going..i'm just worried that they'll have beef"

"ahh yes. i see. well hey, don't worry i'll make sure he doesnt get into much trouble." he says smiling. damn his smile is kinda soft not gonna lie. but i'm with colby. he's just a friend.

"okay, thank you. now get going or you're gonna be late!" i say pushing him playfully. we hug eachother, he then softly grabs my wrist, "it's going to get better, hang in there." he says letting go. i feel tears forming. as i hear the front door close i let it all out.

3 hours later
i check my dm's cause i notice i have a lot of notifications which is odd. it's a bunch of messages from boys' fans. i opened one specific dm that said
"what the fuck is wrong with you? no one's gonna love you with those cuts. if you want to die just kill yourself"

what? then i look through others and notice a clip from the boys' video when we were at the beach. oh shit there's a part where you can see my scars. ugh i look through all the messages and it's just dumb hate. but i notice one, one that's not like the others. it's from someone i know, one of my closer friends growing up.

"what the fuck, you cut? shit bro i was gonna hit you up and see if ya wanted to chill or somethin soon but you really gotta get help. you're fucked in the brain to think that's okay to do. please..the boys probably don't want your suicidal tendencies around. it makes me super uncomfortable so it probably makes them uncomfortable too. just..leave please."
that was from mellissa, her and i were super close then when i got really bad she just up and left. like i thought her and i started getting close again. why? why me?! i tried to not let it get to me but i just couldn't. i can't do this. why do people want me gone. maybe colby and them would be better of without me.
i look at my healing wrist, damn i'm getting better. but all that is just temporary. i took my razor and sliced my wrist, thighs, and hips. i carved "worthless" into my arm. i'm bleeding out. but i didn't cut deep enough to kill me. take paper towel and clean up the blood, i hear the front door open. shit. i go to the shower and wash all the blood off. as i'm done i put on long sleeves and long pants.
"hey babe"

"hi colby. how was your night?" i ask sitting beside him.

"it was honestly really rough, how was yours?" i can hear him say tired. i can tell he's a bit drunk.
"it was lonely" i say chucking. i let colby sleep beside me. he mumbles, "zoey, i really honestly love you so so much. you're the best thing hats ever happened to me and i'll always be here for you." he says and then kisses my forehead. i hug his soft body harder.