Suicide Girl (A Diabolik Lovers Story)

Chapter 26: Melancholia

Enjoy some moody music in the background.

Shu's Perspective

It had been five days since I last heard from Ren. Despite feeling pissed about it, I had already resolved myself to giving her space and waiting until she contacted me first. However, it was proving rather difficult to keep ignoring the separation anxiety it was giving me.

I found myself passing by the music room every lunch hour and listening to her practice. She had spent all her free time this past week locking herself away in the music room, playing endlessly. Each time I heard her play, I would plant myself beside the door and allow myself to get lost in her sounds. She had a way of playing so intensely with her heart on her sleeve. I could almost close my eyes and envision her small frame, seated behind that colossal grand piano, pouring her life force into her compositions. How I wished I could watch it once more...

I sighed out loud from my spot on the floor. When had the roles switched to me being the stalker this time? I never cared this much about anything...yet why did I feel like I had been used and thrown away? My life had returned to being mundane and uneventful like before.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into a transient state. When I came to, the halls were empty and the sound of music had disappeared. Looking at my watch, I could see that lunch time wasn't quite over yet. I wonder why she stopped playing...

Standing up and dusting myself off, I began to walk away. I wouldn't want her to catch me lurking around outside of the music room...especially if she really didn't feel like seeing me.

As I turned around to leave, there was a sudden loud blare of discordant keys from the piano.

That's strange, I thought to myself before my thoughts were interrupted with a gentle thud of something soft hitting the ground.

Without a beat, I opened the door to the music room, wearily peaking in to see what happened. I felt a throb in my chest as I saw Ren sprawled out in the middle of the floor, surrounded by a whole mess of papers with hand written sheet music on them.

Inching closer, I could see her face was flushed as I knelt down and touched her forehead. She was running a fever.

I stared at her unconscious body in awe, imagining just how much she was forcing herself to perform despite her mental strain. This girl...

Always pushing her limits and neglecting her own health. It was almost like looking at his former self. She was helpless in taking care of herself, yet she appeared so strong when faced with her own personal struggles.

Brushing a piece of hair out of her face, I observed her features once more. Perhaps, it was because of the length of time between now and the last time I saw her up close, but she looked stunning. Even in her sickly state, I admired the little things like her almond shaped hazel eyes. Even while closed, their shape was striking as they hid behind her prominent round cheek bones.

I bit my lip in attempt to pull myself away from my fascination before sliding my hands beneath her fragile body and lifting her up. Without wasting any more time, I began walking with her in my arms towards the nurse's office.

I may not be the one she wants to see or confide in right now, but the least I could do was protect her from afar.

"Damn, the nurse isn't here," I commented aloud as I arrived at the nurses office. I placed Ren's body on a small cot near the window. Looking around, I managed to find a cooling pad and stuck it on Ren's forehead before placing a glass of water and some medicine beside her on a table. I exhaled and looked at her sleeping face.

Seeing her in such a state made me realize that I had been far too lenient in my personal responsibility towards her. Until now, I had been aimlessly leading her around, knowing firsthand how little knowledge she had on relationships. I even went so far as to claim her as my own without so much as discussing my intentions, taking full advantage of her sweet naivety to do as I pleased.

What had she truly thought of me up until now? This feeling was beginning to shake me up as I watched her slowly unravel in front of me. This precious girl who just wanted freedom in a world that shackled her.

Did I do something incredibly selfish to her? She wanted freedom. Did I just chain her down more?

These thoughts were starting to feel too heavy as doubt crept into my mind. Suddenly I couldn't comprehend anything. All I knew was that I wanted her back. I wanted to make her smile and feel happy. But was I capable of doing that for her anymore?

Sighing beside her, I willed myself to stand up, knowing I should probably get out of here before she wakes up, despite how much it pained me to do so.

Before I left, however, I leaned down beside her ear and whispered something before skulking out of the room.

~~~

No one's perspective

"I'll be waiting to listen to whatever you need to say...so please come back to me soon."

Shu's voice felt far away to Ren as she faded in and out of consciousness. Her eyes flickered open to find herself alone on a bed in the nurse's office. Sitting up wearily, she looked around and wondered how she ended up there. Checking the time, she saw that school had already ended and the sun was beginning to rise.

Beside the bed was a glass of water and some medicine, which she decided to take right away. As she swallowed a couple pills, she recalled that she was playing a new piece she had composed on the piano before she passed out. She hadn't been sleeping very well since her confrontation with Reiji.

Her chest ached as she recollected her memories of the past few days. She hadn't reached out to Shu at all and was feeling guilty, knowing that she was purposely avoiding him. But he hadn't reached out to her either. Was he trying to be respectful of her boundaries?

She sighed and pried off the cooling pad stuck to her forehead, before muttering, "I've got to do something."

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened her messages. The last time she had messaged Shu was when they were about to meet up and go to the demon world. That time felt so far away now.

She was about to type something when she noticed a subtle and faint scent coming from the collar of her shirt. It was an audaciously familiar scent. As she inhaled the sweetness, she began to piece together that perhaps Shu had brought her here.

Just because they weren't talking didnt mean he wouldn't check on her occasionally.

Ren pulled her knees to her chest and screamed internally as her face flushed, thinking of the words she had heard before she woke up.

"Why...Why is he so kind?" She uttered while covering her blushing face with her hands. Breathing deeply, she bit her lip before picking up her phone. A text message wouldn't be enough. She decided that calling Shu directly would be best. Just hearing his voice seemed like it could be a start to closing this gap between them.