Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapter Thirty Two

Taylor's POV

13th March

I couldn't help but smile as I looked down at my phone. Bethan had just sent me a picture. It was of her, holding a cup of coffee, her eyes crossed beneath her glasses. "Just woke up, do you even remember what a lie in feels like?" She was poking fun at the fact that the days had been filled with Paramore meetings and discussions, which had to start very early for some reason.

I was worried though. The night I spent with her, and she'd given me the Jimmy Eat World LP, was the last time I'd seen her. There had been an emergency meeting that morning, so I had to leave without saying goodbye. She looked so peaceful as she slept. She hugged the pillow, and her face looked agitated and screwed up, but would fade into a relaxed state. Her hair was pushed back off her face onto the pillow. I kissed her nose, which crinkled up and she rolled over. I silently laughed. I cooked breakfast and left a note for her. It wasn't till two hours later when I got a text from her. "Don't worry about it, you're the best :----)." I still felt bad about it though. I didn't want Bethan to be in the apartment all day. I mean, she did go out into LA by herself the other day and her and Hayley went shopping while me and Jeremy went to talk to the tech team about instruments. It was weird to have gone so many days without seeing her. I mean, we texted constantly, but I didn't want our relationship to be based on just that, texting. And while I was in LA for certain I should of been using my time wisely to be with her.

"Wow, you couldn't of just woken up, you're looking far too cute for that ;) picking out the new single though, exciting work" I text her back. "Taylor?" I looked up to see Hayley, Jeremy, Justin (our producer, not the bro) and Adam from Fueled by Ramen looking at me. "Sorry what did you say?" I asked. "It wasn't that we said anything, it's just you've been laughing and smiling at your phone for a minute now," said Hayley. I felt the deep red blush cover my face. "Sorry, sorry," I quickly said. "So whose got you love struck?" Jeremy teased. "Oh no one, I was just texting Bethan," I said without thinking. "Bethan?" Hayley looked up over at me. I could see in her pixie like eyes that she had made a connection or that a thought at come into her mind. Oh crap.

"How is she?" she asked cautiously. "Good, you only saw her the other day." "Oh did she tell you that?" Her eyebrows rose. "Yeah, just in casual conversation," I said. "Cool," she said. I nodded and smiled.

"Ohshitohshitohshit," I thought. Whilst everyone continued the conversation, a wave of panic flew over me. Did Hayley know? Did Bethan tell her? Do I tell her know? What would Bethan say? Were me and Bethan going to tell anyone? Would she be offended if I asked her if we were going to tell anyone? Was she ready to tell anyone?

Was I ready to tell anyone?

Some days I wanted to scream it at the top of my longs that I'd kissed Bethan's lips and other days I couldn't think of anything worse. It wasn't that I was ashamed of her or didn't want people to know we were together, it was the pressure that came with it. I keep my private life pretty private from fans, but Bethan's got he own fans as well. Also, I haven't had a girlfriend in so long. Everything's was going well, but what if I fucked it up? And if we broke up, it would be awkward for the people around us. If no one knew and something went wrong, then it would stay that way, no one would have to know. But at the same time, the idea of breaking up with Bethan hurt me. I was also scared of what my family would do. Would they over react and scare her away? She never really had a family, and with mine being so close, would it rub it in?

There were so many worries running through my mind. One thing that was for sure, was there was no way I was telling anyone today me and Bethan were together. As much as I didn't want to bring the topic up, I needed to talk to Bethan about it and see what she said. She is what matters the most.