Introduction

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A/N-- First, I just had a very cool friend design my new cover! Thank you, @jiyarani! You are so great! 

On with the book, this chapter is a little sad but the story gets better, I promise. It's not doom and gloom but everyone has problems. Oh and there should be a suicide notice? Warning thing....There is a lot of talk about it in this book but it's about so much more. It's how it effects everyone and how to heal from it. It's a very fun book once you get past the first part, I swear!!! Enjoy!

Darwin Hodges held a grudge against Ely Stephens for years now. He had a tough time with forgiveness. It had been fourteen years but Darwin still had nightmares and still held a grudge. He remembered that day like it just happened. He saw it in color and could even smell everything.

Darwin and Ely were seniors together. They had been friends for a long time, since first grade when Darwin moved into town. They were inseparable. Darwin thought they would always be friends and be involved in each other's lives when they were older. They promised to even be neighbors. That was before. Darwin split his life into Before and After.

Ely lived with his mom when she and his father got divorced. Karen was a good mom. It was just Ely and Karen while he was going up. His father, Dennis, left when Ely was in fifth grade. He was the only kid in the house until his sophomore year. Everything in his life was perfect until then.

His dad had moved back for a job two years after the divorce. He got remarried to Ely's best friend's mom a year after he moved back. Technically, Darwin was Ely's step-brother. He never called him that. Ely hated that he had no say in what his father did and who he married. He didn't want a step-brother. He really didn't want Darwin as his step-brother.

Ely never talked about the night when Karen was killed. She went on a date with some guy. She never made it home. Police were at the door when the babysitter, Marsha Etta, opened the door. She was a sweet woman, twenty years old. She needed extra cash for college. Babysitting was an easy way to make money.

Marsha was waiting for Karen to get home. She wanted to know how the date went. She heard a knock and thought that Karen forgot her key. The police were there. They sat with Ely and explained to the sophomore in high school that his mom was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver.

Marsha was there for him all night. Dennis was coming from his home to get Ely. Ely's life was changing again, without his consent. First, his parents got divorced when he was in fifth grade, then his father moved two states over, moved back and remarried, then his mom died.

Dennis had a new family and now Ely was moving in with Dennis and his new family. No one asked Eli. Dennis had to keep Ely in the same school with the same friends. He didn't want to change much for his son. He wanted to try to rebuild their relationship. Dennis felt that he made a lot of mistakes.

Dennis met Hillary, a psychiatrist. They got married almost three years after the divorce and now Ely had a new family. Ely wasn't as close to his dad as he wanted and suddenly, Ely had a step-brother that he lived with. They shared Darwin's room. Now, he had no choice but to share his room. He was miserable.

Sure, Darwin was his best friend. He loved Darwin but he wasn't at all ready for Darwin to be part of his family. He wasn't ready for his best friend to be his step-brother. He wasn't ready to share his room or his space all the time. He could never get away. As a friend, Ely could go home. As a step-brother, there was nowhere to go.

Ely didn't deal with his mom's death very well. He never talked about her especially to Hillary, his dad's wife. She was a therapist, a shrink. They had been married for three years and he wasn't talking to her.

Everything in his life had changed without his say. He had no control over his life and he hated it. He felt that his life was spiraling out of control. Every day got more out of hand.

Dennis and Hillary announced that they were pregnant. Hillary was pregnant. They were expecting a baby and they were happy. Ely wasn't. He hated his life. He missed his old life with his mother. She was his constant and now she was gone. He was trying to hang on but nothing was working. He missed his mom, his life, his room. He missed the order he had.

On the outside, it looked like Ely had everything. He was popular and everyone wanted him. He was the quarterback of the football team with a full ride to any college. He was a god at school. He had lots of friends. He was were every kid wanted to be in high school. He was the most popular guy and voted most likely to succeed.

To Ely, it was horrible. He hated himself and his life. He didn't want any of it. Everyday was an act for him. He smiled and played along. He high fived his football buddies and sat with Darwin and talked about girls. For two years, well, most of his life, he played along. Ely decided to do something and take charge. He decided to end his life. It was the one thing he had control over.

Darwin remembered things too. He never forgave either. It was a gorgeous fall day. On of those gorgeous days from a fall magazine or post card. All of the trees were turning at the same time. Orange, yellow, red colors were everywhere. Darwin remember the smells outside. That fall smell. He always thought it was a smell that the leaves put off while they turned. He was ready for apple cider and Halloween. He had the best night and a good day at school.

Ely stayed home from school. He claimed he was sick. Darwin walked in from a long day at school and walked into the room he shared with Ely. He was ready to throw makeup homework at him. He knew that Ely was faking it but he wasn't sure why.

Darwin stopped at the door. Something was wrong. Ely was sheet white, barely breathing and an empty pill bottle sat on his nightstand. He dropped everything.

Darwin was shaking as the cops, first responders and EMTs filled his room. They pushed Ely out on a cot and he was gone. A nice officer called his mother, Hillary and Ely's dad, Dennis, and took Darwin to the hospital to meet them.

Darwin ignored his mom and Dennis as they talked to him. He really liked Dennis for his mom. He was a good dad too, but Darwin was in shock and scared for his friend. Ely tried to kill himself and Darwin was worried that he succeeded. They weren't allowed to see Ely and left the hospital without him. Darwin didn't sleep that night.

He heard Dennis talking to someone on the phone in the morning. The nurses and doctors really worked on him but he was alive. Darwin guessed he really wanted to die and fought them pretty hard. He heard that another fifteen minutes and Ely would have succeeded. Darwin saved his friend but would lose him too.

Dennis explained that Ely had a lot of recovering to do. He stayed in a guarded facility through the end of school and got his GED.

Dennis and Hillary visited but Darwin refused. Ely had an order to stay at an out-of-state facility called The Edit because he promised he would kill himself if he had another chance. Ely was devastated that he failed. He never expected to live.

Ely never made it home while Darwin was still there. Darwin went to a state college and was only home for holidays. He never really talked to Ely again. They never really saw each other after that and Darwin was fine with that. He didn't want Ely in his life. He was devastated.

Ely didn't realize all of the damage he really did that day until he was older. He also never planned to have to deal with it. They lived in a small town of five thousand people so he knew a few people would remember. Darwin would remember. Ely never wanted to go back and never planned on it.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy. Please leave comment and vote. 

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