A Complex Journey (Completed)

Trying New Things

Darwin was nervous because he had never been to a therapist. He had talked to his mom but that wasn't the same. This was a stranger. Ely was at home in the therapist's office. The lady called their names. Ely took Darwin's hand and walked through the door. That was the first step. Ely took a breath.

Denise Bual was a short woman with very high heels. She clearly didn't like being short. She had pretty red hair and wore a nice grey suit. "Good afternoon, gentlemen." She smiled. She watched them. She knew very little but she knew who Ely was. Ely Stephens was comfortable. Darwin Hodges wasn't. He had never been. "Call me Denise. You are?"

Ely smiled. "I'm Ely and this is Darwin." He sighed. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize? Why?" Denise watched him.

"I try to take control of people. In relationships. Like just now. I should have let him talk." Ely sighed.

"Ely, you were fine." Darwin looked at Denise. "I'm Darwin. I have known Ely for...my whole life. He's controlling."

Denis smiled. "It's nice to meet you both. What are you looking to get out of this?" She wanted to see who answered.

Ely looked at Darwin. Darwin nodded. "Uh, I think I want closure? If that's the right word. I need to get past our history. I want to be mad at Ely for the right reasons. By that I mean, if we have a fight, I want it to be for what he fucked up right now, not for the past." Darwin looked at Ely.

Ely nodded and took his turn. "The suicide attempt. It did a lot of damage. We don't want it to destroy us. We are trying to build a relationship but it's the elephant." Ely sighed. "I'm guessing you have my file from Charlene."

Denise smiled. "I do. You are clearly an expert at this. Ely, what are you looking for here?"

Ely nodded. "Closure. I want to put an end to who I was. I want to show Darwin that I'm not that person but I still have issues. I have....I'm controlling and it's tough for me to let go. It's easier with Darwin."

Denise raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, my best example....is with sex. I am always on top. I let him be on top. It was the first time for me. I never let anyone before."

Darwin gasped. "Ely, I didn't know that! Why didn't you tell me that?"

Ely laughed. "Because!" He looked at Denise. She was going to make him explain. "Part of me doesn't want you to know the spectacularly messed up degree of controlling that I am! I am a mess. I controlled everything. I told you."

"Even that?" Darwin stared.

"Use words, Darwin." Denise smiled.

Darwin inhaled. "You sound like my mom!"

Denise smiled. "She's a therapist, I know of her. She's...go on."

"Uh, You even controlled sex?" Darwin stared.

"Yes. It was always when I said and how I wanted it. Always. In my bed, I was on top and they never spent the night. Never." Ely sighed. "They were out the door as soon as I finished. I never cared if they were satisfied."

Darwin stared.

"So, Darwin, I take it that you are having sex with Ely? Is that the same?" Denise tried not to be curious. She had to keep Darwin talking.

"Uh, no. But we...the first night we did it over the kitchen table, the chair, the counter, and I was on top several times? I stayed for two days!" Darwin stared at Ely. "What was that?"