Lost Cause [Imagine Dragons Fanfic]

20 - Worried

The next day, Dan and I wake up at the same time. We look at each other and smile, still rubbing the sleep out of our eyes. We just remain in bed, next to each other until my mom knocks on the door and opens it a few seconds later.

If she is confused or whatsoever because we're sharing a bad, she doesn't show it. She just says: "Good morning and Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Dan and I answer simultaneously and start laughing.

"Are you coming down so we can have breakfast together?" She asks.

"In a minute."

We make our way down and as we pass the Christmas tree, Dan stops and just looks at it for a second. Yesterday, he couldn't see it because we just wanted to go to bed. "It looks great, right?" I say and he just nods as answer.

We sit down at the table and enjoy our breakfast in silence, looking at the tree from time to time. Then we open the presents, which doesn't last long because I'm out of the age where you receive thousands of toys.

"I'd love to give you a present too, Dan, but all the shops were closed yesterday," my mom says.

"Don't worry, you don't need to give me any presents. It's amazing that I can be here, I'm more than fine with that."

"Yeah, me too!" I say and give him another side hug.

We spend some time with my parents, just talking, eating, playing games and watching TV, then we decide to give them some free time and walk up to my room. I decide that now is the best time to talk to Dan about what happened yesterday.

I sit down at my bed as he closes the door and I look at him. I don't really want to ask him because we're all in a good mood right now and I don't want to destroy that. I don't know how he is going to react to this question and I don't want to ruin my friendship with him.

"What's bothering you,?" Dan asks in a soft tone as he sits down next to me.

I don't look at him, playing with my fingers and trying to find out what the best way, to ask him the question, is.

"You know you can talk to me, remember?" He reminds me and I nod.

"It's just that I don't want to ruin the good mood, you know?"

"It's been the best Christmas I've ever had so far, I don't care what you're going to ask me, nothing will make the day bad for me, trust me, I can handle a lot before it turns a bad day."

I look at my friend with worried eyes, before I sit up, lean against the wall a gesture him to do the same. I think it's easier for both of us when we're not facing each other. I tuck my knees to my chest and start speaking:

"I'm worried."

"About me?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because of yesterday."

Silence hangs between us for a few seconds then I hear a tiny "oh" coming from Dan.

"You know, Ben once told me the story how he doesn't like to be touched under the armpits because he was abused by his uncle and ever since no one could touch him there without him freaking out. And yesterday, the panic attack you had, it made me remember that and...and..." I don't know how to finish the sentence, which Dan undertakes for me.

"Yes, is the answer. It has happened to me too and that's why I had a panic attack."

I'm shocked and my heart starts to sting a little. First Ben, now him. I don't even know how to react to it and silence hangs between us for a couple of minutes before I ask: "Is...uhm...it's not your parents right? Because...you don't really talk a lot about them. But if it's them, then we have to get you out of there, because..."

With every word I speak, I get faster and Dan eventually has to stop me. "No, it's not about my parents. They are doing nothing, really!"

"Have you told someone about this? I want to help you, but I don't know why. Is there anything else you want to tell me? I'm here. I'm listening. I'm still worried, I don't know why. I just want to know if you're okay. How is your life? How has it been so far? Do you have anything on your mind you want to talk about?"

The words just flood out of my mouth and by the time I stop, I can see tears welling in Dan's eyes.

"There is so much, I would want to talk to you about, but I can't. I just can't talk about everything that's making my life bad. I'd really love to, but..."

Now I can feel tears in my eyes too. I reach out with my hands and Dan lets himself fall into the hug. "You know that you're my little brother, right? I'll try to protect you from everything! I'm here if you need me!"