Finding My Heart(Under Editing)

Chapter 35 | Broken

I woke up to the sight of Samantha and Jeremiah arguing. I made direct eye contact with Jeremiah before my eyes drifted to his hands. They were bloodied and looked swollen almost. I felt my throat get dry in shock. All I could do was stare in horror. I didn't even realize that I had covered my gaping mouth with my hand.

"Wha-wha-what did you do?" I asked, fresh tears forming. 

"Please, I can explain," he tried saying. I profusely nodded my head no.

"Explain what? Explain your bloody knuckles and bruised face? I already know," I said tautly, frowning. His mouth dropped open as if he was going to say more, but no words could be said.

Sam spoke out, taking a step closer to Jeremiah with her arms crossed across her stomach. "I think you should leave," she added, her eyes staring like daggers. He nodded "no" before walking over to the armchair, keeping his distance. He looked at me in the eyes, and I couldn't help but stare into his hazel ones. 

"You said it yourself, I didn't have any right to say what I did... but it doesn't stray away from the idea that you were in that situation, and that it was Braxton that put you in it," he replied with bitterness toward Braxton. I stared into his eyes to find them dull, blank of any emotion other than hatred. It scared me. All I wanted to feel and see was his warmth, his happiness. But I could tell he wasn't in the mindset to think that way. He was always the more assertive of the brothers. That is what I loved about them, they could be so different, but at the end of the day, they were brothers. And that feeling was missing within Jeremiah. I could tell. He was unhinged.

"I don't like seeing this side of you, Jer. How your acting... it-it isn't you! The Jeremiah that I fell in love with would never, and I mean never, resort to beating up some bad guy because they did something they shouldn't have. Your brother's condition has taken control of you it-it has-"

"Broken me. I know," he interrupts, his head laying low. "I'm broken. I can't be fixed. Not even someone as astounding and kind as you could fix this. I'm a lost cause." Sam looked at me and I sent her a taut nod. She walked into the other room.

"I don't wanna turn this into yesterday's conversation. I just want you to tell me what's going on. I don't like fighting with you, and I don't like seeing you so distraught. Just let me know why... why did you do it?" I looked at him with gentle eyes.

"I-I. I just... I don't want you to get hurt, Adi. I can't see another person that I love get hurt. You are the only thing I have to live for anymore. I don't know how long I'd be able to go if I don't have you by my side," he said, his voice breaking. He grabbed ahold of my left hand, squeezing it tightly. He got down on one knee and looked at me dead in the eyes, the black orbs in his hazel eyes widening. I found my breathing to be hitched after looking at him. My heart ached for him deeply. 

"I can't imagine how you're feeling right now," I said, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks. I began to sob, but not for my anger I felt only moments ago. That anger was gone. All I felt was deep sorrow. "I just want your pain to go away so I can get my Jeremiah back. My bubbly, goofy, sweet Jeremiah." My hands reached out to either side of his face, wiping the tears also going down his face. He moved closer to me, only staying inches apart. 

"I love you so much," he said, adding, "I'm going to become better for you." My heart pounded heavily; I felt overwhelmed with joy from what he said. My chest felt tight. I pulled him closer, reaching his chapped lips with my own. I didn't care. This kiss was stronger than any other kiss. It was like we had put all of our strength and emotions and directed it to this kiss. I pulled away reluctantly, my lips swollen and my breathing heavy.

"You don't even know what I'd do if you if I could, babe," he exclaimed, a devious expression plastered on his face. 

"Oh, shut up," I replied, pushing his shoulder. I ruffled his hair. "I love you, you dork." He kissed my jaw quickly and looked back at me.