One Week Older: Turning Pages

I Got You

As I scrolled through the contacts in my phone, searching for Dennis, I knew there was no going back. My finger clicked his contact, and I heard my phone ring, as I held my breath in fear. At that second in time, the third ring flowed through my ears, and I thought to myself, please don't answer, please do not, but he did.

To my surprise, I was greeted by only silence. Until a series of thumping erupted, followed closely by the sound of broken glass and an angry Dennis yelling, "Stay away from my mom!"

Thoughts rampaged in my head of what could possibly be happening as I heard the faint tears of my mother in the background. Without thinking, I shouted with no regard for the people around me, "Stop!" I proceeded to yell with all the breath in my lungs before the phone disconnected.

Other people from the quad started staring at me, and a few started laughing. I gasped for air as I felt it leave my body; my mind was stripped of all protective armor and I had been left bare with only distress and peril left behind. My throat closed off, and I started trembling like a leaf as it falls from a tree.

Dizziness overtook my silhouette and I grew light-headed. My vision started blurring and I thought I was suffocating. Terror consumed me, and I couldn't get myself to think about anything other than the worst outcome of what was happening at home.

My brain shut down as I felt Jay rubbing my shoulder and whispering to me that everything was going to be fine but there was no calming me down. There was no getting myself to think rationally.

Tears burst out of my eyes as I convulsed uncontrollably. I felt Jay lift me up, and my body as I went weak as I unsuccessfully tried to take back control of my feelings. My soft eyelashes made contact with my lower eyelid as Jay carried me to the nurses' office as I heard Jay screeching from the bottom of his throat, "I need help!"

After being calmed down from my attack, I fell asleep, from the exhaustion of the event. I did not know how much time had gone by when I awoke with a headache that could kill. I was terrified to open my eyes, not knowing what kind of judgment would be surrounding me.

Eyes still dark, I felt a hand squeezing mine, and the soft sound of someone weeping. I forced myself to open one eye that resulted in me shutting it back immediately. I didn't know who was crying but I knew it was because of me and that caused tears to roll onto my lifeless cheeks. Delicately, I felt warm fingers rub the access tears from my face.

"Day, it's me. Are you waking up?" I heard an I instantly knew who it as just by the way he said my nickname.

When I didn't answer, I heard him say, "Mrs. Johnston, I think she's coming back."

My mother was here, and I did not know what to do with this information. Seconds later, I felt my mother's lips collide with my forehead, and her tender touch caused me to wince. I knew I could not pretend to be asleep anymore. I urged my eyes to open and saw my mother and Jay looking down at me with a heavy heart, as they would a dying puppy. I took deep breaths as I stared at them, trying to calm myself, not knowing what happened or how they would react to me.

No one spoke anything, and I felt my insecurities weighing down on me, I just had to say something, the suspense was killing me.

I looked down and voiced, "Don't look at me like that. I am fine," I was just realizing that no one else was going to speak first. I guess they were wary of my reaction as well.

My mom cupped my face in her hands as she whispered through her unwanted tears, "Honey, you were asleep for almost an hour. We were worried."

I felt my lip quiver as my mother cradled me in her arms and I confined my eyes shut to try to conceal the tears that wanted so badly to leave my eyes. However, no matter how hard I tried they came out anyway. The first fell from my left eye and rolled down my cheek, off my chin, and onto my light gray sweater, identical ones that came out in clumps. Their goal was to take complete control of me, another tried to follow the first tear but I would not let them.

I wiped my eyes before stating, "I was tired. Please, I want to stand up." To which my mom replied, "Of course sweetheart."

With my mom and best friends help, I brought myself to my feet. Upon standing, I felt my legs go out and Jay caught me, bringing me back into the world.

"It's okay, I got you."

Our eyes locked and I could tell that he was so exhilarated in my waking up. When he didn't let go, I smiled and he in return smiled back, a smile I was so used to but had a different effect on me every time. The way his dimples became more prominent and the way he tried to look away from me but could not. Snapping out of his gaze, I asked to sit back down onto the cot in the nurses' office.

Sitting in between my closest family, I held both of their hands as the nurse walked in and spilled, "I am so sorry for the wait. I was helping another student."

In my mind, I prayed that he would not ask how I felt. The answer to that question should be made obvious by the tears that stained my face. The nurse touched my forehead and told me he was going to check my eyesight and breathing. This was the fourth time I have had a panic attack of this multitude and after the first, the fear of having any others petrified me.

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