Amber Eyes » TVD

28 » MICHIGAN

I was still trying to get used to living in the real world again. Being on the other side was like living life behind glass. I was there for everything, when Jeremy first got a job, or when Bonnie decided to distance herself from Mystic Falls, but I never got to be a part of the experiences. It's the most painful thing to not be able to be there while Bonnie, Elena, and Caroline were crying over my own death. It was even more heartbreaking watching them move on.

Isolation was inevitable on the other side, but now I forced it upon myself. I'd lived with Bonnie for a week now and I locked myself in my room all day except for meal times. It's extremely unhealthy, I know that, but it was all I knew. I felt comfortable in this state. It was nearing the end of summer break and I had a choice to make. Whether I should go back to school or not.

Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed school. Sure, it was kind of an inconvenience at times, but I liked learning, and it took my mind off of my mess of a life. Avoiding the rest of the squad would be an issue, but I think Bonnie could help me with that.

"Bonnie!" I called out of my open door. I kept my body in my room, peeping my head outside the door so I could see her.

"Yes!" Bonnie yelled back, seeming preoccupied with something.

I took a deep breath as if to gather my thoughts. I'm not sure what exactly I wanted to come out of this, but it was worth a shot to ask. I left the comfort of my temporary room and followed Bonnie's voice into her room. She was on the floor with ancient relics, feathers, and jars of liquid surrounding her.

"What are you doing?" I paused in front of her.

"Sorting." She placed two jars next to each other and nodded. "I have a lot of items from my grandmother that I have to do something with What were you going to ask me?"

"Well," I kneeled down in front of her. "I want to go to school."

"Doesn't sound like a question to me."

"But I don't want to be seen by the others. They're not ready for that. I'm not ready."

"Kennedy, they just witnessed Elena get completely drained of blood and come back to life, I think they can handle seeing you again," Bonnie said sarcastically.

"Bonnie, please." my voice broke.

"Kennedy. We all mourned for you after you died. Some more than others. It tore us up inside. They deserve to see you, Ken."

"Everyone seems pretty fine without me." I shrugged her comment off.

"Everyone heals differently. Elena cried and cried, you know how she is. Caroline was so sad that she nearly shut off her humanity. Alaric was angry, he was flooded with so many emotions since both you and Jenna died. And Damon, well..." Bonnie paused. "We all know Damon is a heartless dick, but he mourned you in his own way. He was silent for an entire month. The only other person he'd talk to was Elena and even then it was hardly anything. He drank even more than usual, but after that, he was back to his brooding self."

Little did she know that I had watched all of this. I've seen how they grieved (edit).

"Elijah? What happened to Elijah?"

"I'm not sure," Bonnie started. "No one's seen him since the sacrifice. But why do you care? He didn't even follow through with the plan. He's the reason why you died."

I took a deep breath in. Bonnie was partially right. But I saw Elijah out there that night. The way he interacted with Klaus, I could tell he missed his brother. I can't blame him for putting family first.

"So everyone's fine now?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But everyone eventually learned how to move on without me. No need to complicate things."